Why We Love
by CatKam
Summary: Dr. Reid has happiness back in his life. He found Cameron and she may be all he needs. But it is harder then either of them thought, can they make it through together? Sequel to The Resurrection of Dr. Reid. REIDOFC, Please Read and Review!
1. I Couldn't Wait

**A/N: This is the sequel to The Resurrection of Dr. Reid. I would read it first, but it's up to you ;) Hope you all enjoy the first chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, I do own Cameron Mansfield!**

* * *

The acceptance of Cameron Mansfield into the closely knit BAU team was the first of many changes that would come in the eight months following that fateful day in Skidmore. The most recent change was the return of the legendary Dave Rossi. It was a slow and hesitant process but everybody on the team came to have more then just respect for Rossi, they came to like him and accept that he's now part of the team.

Case after case the team worked together, though not without the occasional personality clash. Although the cases sometimes went badly Cameron managed to shock people, mainly Hotch, by enduring. For a while, after a rough case she would tell Reid that she wanted to leave, but she always felt better with some much needed rest. As for Reid and Cameron, they did their very best to keep their personal life separate from their work life. Although occasionally Cameron let her emotions slip. Blame it on a woman's heart.

Another case down and the team headed home late one night. As usual people were engaged in their own activities. Whatever helped them to relax or unwind from a hard day. J.J., Morgan and Hotch played cards, Rossi, Emily and Reid were reading and Cameron was bopping her head to some music.

"Hey, how you doing tiger?" Cameron pulled out her ear buds and sat softly beside Reid.

Reid looked up from the book he hadn't really been reading and smiled, "Fine."

Cameron put her hand on his knee, "You sure? You seem a little distracted."

He shrugged his shoulders, "Sorry, I've just been thinking about something."

Cameron saw that coming a mile away, "Have you had a breakthrough?"

He shook his head, "I think I'm too tired to think, if that makes any sense."

Cameron arched her back slightly, "Tell me about it. Let's try and get a little sleep, huh?" With that she laid her head on Reid's shoulder, "You can borrow my head." She added with her eyes shut. Within ten minutes she was fast asleep and he was still wide awake. He gently lifted her head off of his shoulder and rested it against the window, brushing some hair off her face.

He went over and joined the card game between Hotch, Morgan and J.J. Morgan looked up and shook ahead, "Okay if you're playing, you don't get to deal."

Reid smiled, "When are you going to realize, I would never cheat."

They all exchanged doubtful smiles but in the end dealt him into the game. After a half hour passed J.J. dropped out and gave into sleep. Reid struggled to keep his focus on the game occasionally glancing nervously at Cameron.

Morgan shook his head at the young doctor. His gentle, ever-growing desire to tease Reid over his lovely new girlfriend was well known and well appreciated. At least by Cameron, who happened to find it comical. Reid pouted and pretended to be upset, but Morgan knew he was way too happy to actually be angry.

"I think it's time we have a little talk, man to man." Morgan said with a sly grin.

Hotch knew that look and quickly left the table before Reid could protest.

"Morgan. No. Not this again."

"Reid, sometimes when a guy likes a girl—"

"Man, we don't need to do this again. I know all about what happens when males and females interact." Reid managed to control the flush of his cheeks.

"Hey, I'm just trying to give you a bit of advice." Morgan said in an oh-so-innocent voice.

Truth be told, Reid knew that he had this coming to him since the first time he asked Morgan for help with his girl troubles. Now he had to endure all the teasing and tutoring Morgan had to offer.

Reid sighed and gave into his friend, "Okay, let's hear it."

"Before you try to object let me remind you that I've known you for years. Sometimes, not on purpose, you make things very complicated."

Reid widened his eyes and raised his eyebrow, _this is going to be a whole big thing, isn't it?_

"I know it's that big ol' brain of yours. But man, you just over think everything too much. Not everything's a problem waiting to be solved."

"Okay, now you've lost me. It's part of my job to think things through."

"But Cameron isn't part of your job, well not in this sense anyways. We all see you looking at her and we can practically feel the gears shifting, turning in your head." Morgan smiled somewhat apologetically, "I'm not criticizing you, I'm only suggesting that maybe you trust your gut once in a while, don't try to create some sort of _Cameron/relationship_ equation."

Reis shrugged, "Okay, you might just be right about this."

Morgan looked like pigs had started to fly, "You serious?"

Reid smiled, stealing one last glance at Cameron, "You're Yoda and I'm willing to learn."

* * *

Several hours later the plane touched down in Quantico, Virginia. The team exited the plane, deciding to leave Reid with the task of waking Cameron up. It wasn't an unpleasant task at all, it just seemed appropriate to give the two a little privacy.

Reid kissed her forehead and spoke softly, "Cameron, it's time to get up, we're home."

Cameron roused slowly tucking her messy hair behind her ears, "Did you get any sleep?"

He shook his head and Cameron smiled, _probably still too busy thinking._

"We better get going, everyone's already left without us." He helped her out of her seat and passed her overnight bag to her, "Ladies first."

"Thanks. God, it's felt like we've been away from home so long. I'm glad to be back. I've got some things on the agenda for later if you're not too tired." Cameron said with a smile, pausing at the door. She turned around only to find Reid wasn't behind her. He was still at the back of the plane. On one knee.

Cameron's breath caught in her throat and she froze. _This cannot be happening._

"I realized I couldn't wait." Reid tried to suppress an impish grin.

Cameron stood frozen for a millisecond longer. She dropped her bag to the floor and ran to the back of the plane. She dropped to her knees in front of Reid, wrapping her arms tightly around him before kissing him so passionately that he melted with adoration.

"Is that a yes?" He asked with a huge smile.

She nodded trying to blink tears out of her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him again, allowing a few tears to slip out of her eyes, "Sorry I'm being such a girl." She laughed apologetically.

"That happens to be one of many things I love about you." He whispered back.

"I love you."

* * *

"Is that what I think it is?" Garcia gasped, eyes wide.

J.J. grabbed Cameron's hand, mouth gapping. "Reid isn't allowed to wake Cameron up anymore." Emily announced to no one in particular. The commotion managed to draw over Rossi and Hotch who joined the rest of the team in the little office kitchen.

Everyone began exchanging surprised looks and smiles. Morgan just shook his head, "Kid, you've got nerves, I'll give you that. Where on earth did this come from?"

Reid shook his head shyly, "You practically told me to do it. Follow your gut, isn't that what you said?"

Cameron started to laugh and Morgan did too, "This isn't exactly what I meant."

Rossi cleared his throat, "Perhaps we should consider a toast?" Everyone nodded in agreement and began searching for their coffee mugs and filling them with only slightly warm coffee.

Hotch raised his mug, "To Cameron and Reid, we wish you the best of luck."

Reid shyly held Cameron's hand and smiled, he never in a million years dreamed he would be on the receiving end of this particular toast.

As the team started to dissipate and head home Garcia became the straggler. She was so jazzed about the news you would have thought they toasted with actual champagne. Reid was over at his desk grabbing his things so they could head home for the weekend.

Garcia smiled at Reid, "God knows I love him, but he's a lot of work. Like a puppy. Plus, he's just so much smarter then any of us and always talking gibberish. You must be the most patient woman in the world."

Cameron looked at him longingly and turned back to Garcia, "No way. I'm the luckiest woman in the world."

* * *

**A/N: There you have it the beginning to a brand new story! Hope you liked Reid's surprise! Please review :D**


	2. The Second Time

**A/N: So here's the next chapter, sorry for the wait. I had to work as a nanny soI was at a cottage with no internet for 3 weeks. Thank you for all the review. Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

* * *

"I think we can be pretty sure this is our guy, his motive is clear as day." Emily said looking around the crowded police department.

It was a hot and sunny August day and the BAU had been called to Sarasota Florida to help the local police department with what looked to be a serial killer preying on random members of the community. That was five days ago and another victim had been added to the tally.

Early on, the team had begun interviewing homeless people on the streets of Sarasota. Time and time again they heard that they had been treated as less then human. Some people on the streets even recognized some of the victims saying things like, "She was the worst one" or "he had it coming to him". Rossi had brought up the idea that these killings may be an act of revenge. It fit, it even explained the randomness of the killings. They all saw the attitude of people towards the homeless in Sarasota. There were a lot of potential victims.

Earlier this morning during a briefing something struck Reid, whoever killed these people must have had the confidence to talk to them. A person living on the street probably wouldn't garner the respect needed to engage the victims in conversation.

This led them to their newest suspect to whom Emily was referring; Dean Pearson, a 29 year old banker who fit the profile of a confident young male who, for personal and complicated reasons, held grudges against the victims.

The team went to Pearson's home armed with a warrant from a judge. Pearson went with them quietly without saying so much as a single word.

Morgan and Hotch took the suspect into custody while Emily, Cameron and Detective Cabot searched Pearson's apartment looking for evidence that could hold up in court. They knew since strangulation had been the method used, they wouldn't find a weapon. But they figured their profile was enough so that Hotch, Morgan, Reid or Rossi could break him.

Emily, Cameron and Detective Cabot walked back to the police station in the sweltering heat and complete silence. It hadn't taken too long for everyone on the team to become annoyed with the behaviour of the lead detective on the case. Cameron seemed to find him particularly offensive.

They were just outside of the police station when a homeless kid approached them, he held out his hand and asked, "Any change?"

Detective Cabot shoved him out of their way, "Go back to where you came from street rat." He snarled.

Emily's mouth gaped open but Cabot just shoved past her. She followed quickly, intending to give him a piece of her mind. Cameron went the other way, into the alley where the kid had ducked to get away from Cabot.

The kid was walking quickly down the alley, Cameron jogged to catch up with him. "You okay?" She asked from behind him.

He turned around and held out his hand, "Listen, do you have any money or not?"

Cameron pulled out the apple she'd been planning on snacking on and shrugged as she handed it to him. "You look like you haven't eaten in a while." She smiled compassionately.

The kid looked at her and scoffed, turning around.

"Just so you know: it's really, really dumb to ask cops for money so you can shoot up." She called out.

"Cops? So what, are you going to arrest me or something?"

"For what, being dumb? No."

"So what do you want?"

"To give you something you can actually use. Drugs aren't worth what I can offer you, a chance to get some help. If you'll take it."

"Listen lady—"

"It's Cameron."

"Whatever. If I wanted help I would have asked for it, butt out."

Cameron pulled out a pen, "I figured you'd say that." She wrote her cell phone number on a napkin from breakfast, "In case you change your mind. You can call me anytime." She smiled faintly, "Enjoy the apple."

She was well aware that everyone who needed help wouldn't always receive it. But as long as she was able to, why not try to help the people she could?

Cameron walked into the station and looked around for Detective Cabot, her cheeks were flushed and she could swear her face felt like it was on fire.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You have no right to treat people like crap." Cameron wasn't yelling but there was a strangely emotional, scolding tone in her voice.

Cabot snorted, "He's just another piece of shit junkie."

Cameron tensed up and crossed her arms, "He's just a kid!"

"It's none of your business how I treat people. When did it become your place to question my manners?"

Cameron edged backwards a little, "Because we are no better then he is! He may have made mistakes but he still deserves your respect." She was shouting now.

J.J. and Emily stood scowling as the two butted heads. Rossi and Morgan walked over, surveying the situation. Cabot turned his attention to Rossi, "You may want to learn how control your agents."

Before anyone could respond Cameron stepped defensively towards the man towering over her. "And you should check damn attitude next time you ask yourself why these killings happened in you jurisdiction. I'm sure you'll get your answer."

"You should practice keeping your mouth shut." He snarled taking a step towards her.

Rossi quickly stepped in front of him, faced with someone his own size, Cabot wasn't so tough. "Watch how you speak to her," he warned.

"I didn't ask you here so you could have some girl scold me like a shrew. Your services can be refused at any time."

"Wow, that's big talk after we've already caught the guy," J.J. remarked snidely.

The fight pretty much broke up then and there and Cameron managed to regain some semblance of level-headedness.

**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**

While all of this was going on Hotch and Reid were busy interrogating the suspect.

"You had a good reason to get revenge after how they treated your mother. You have nothing to be ashamed of." Hotch tried to coax the stubborn suspect into talking. He said nothing, just sat quietly, not even asking for a lawyer.

Pearson eyed Hotch carefully before speaking, "You… you should how seen what they did to her, she was already sick and they made her life a living hell. As if it wasn't bad enough that she was schizophrenic. But she never listened to me she didn't even let me go near her. If I couldn't get her off the streets then I had to protect her from those monsters. You wouldn't believe what they did to her, you couldn't imagine how…"

Pearson made eye contact. "You know they deserved it. You would have done the same thing." Hotch had him write up his confession and then stood up and left the room. Reid remained sitting in his seat looking somberly away from Pearson. He tapped his fingers nervously on the table. Before standing he gave Dean Pearson a sympathetic, conflicted look and exited the room.

* * *

With a major case wrapped up pretty quickly, the team was in an almost jovial mood when they left Sarasota that night. Everyone was talking excitedly about what they planned to do with the two weeks vacation they had coming up.

Cameron drifted in and out of several conversations but eventually left the circuit to go and keep Reid company. After all, the two of them hadn't discussed what they were going to do with their time off.

As she sat down beside him she could sense by his body language that something was troubling him. So she decided to drop the shroud of professionalism and see if she could get him talking. She grabbed his hand and wrapped her free arm around him. Without missing a beat she asked, "Is everything okay Spence?"

He nodded almost too enthusiastically, doing his private part to put on a brave face and deal with his problems without making a fuss.

Cameron frowned and snuggled in a little closer, "Are you sure? You seem really distracted."

He turned and smiled faintly, "I'm fine." He said, a little too harshly. "Sorry. I'm just getting a little tired. You know that glazed over look tired people get."

_Not true. Some people, maybe. Not Spencer. Only when something's wrong._

Cameron smiled back anyways, thinking it might be best not to hassle him. "Any idea what you want to do for the next two weeks?" She asked this while teasingly wrapping her leg around his.

He shrugged absently, "I don't really know. I haven't really given it too much thought."

Now she was starting to worry because for the second time in a minute, he had told her something that was entirely untrue.

* * *

**A/N: Well there you have it, chapter 2. It was short but I hope everyone liked it. It might have seemed a little irrelevent but everything means something. I'll update soon. Please Review!**


	3. His Vacation

**A/N: Here is the next chapter of Reid and Cameron's story. Not too long a wait this time, but the chapter's a little short ;) Hope you enjoy, please read and review.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

* * *

Cameron awoke groggily at three in the morning to the sound of computer keys clicking. She rolled over and saw Reid sitting at the desk staring at the computer screen. She stood up and walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, letting the blanket drape over the two of them. "Now, now is this any way to start our vacation?" She asked with a light voice.

He didn't respond and Cameron squinted at the bright computer screen, "What's that?"

Reid tried to block the screen evasively, "It's nothing, I'm just—"

"Thinking?" Cameron joked, not getting a smile in return. "Spence, I'm serious, what is that?" She read the screen and faced him smiling, "Vegas?"

Reid rubbed his head in frustration, "I'm thinking about visiting my Mom."

Cameron continued to smile, their first vacation and they were going to Las Vegas. And she was finally going to meet Diana Reid. "When do we leave?"

Reid stood up and walked around to the other side of the bed, using it as an emotional barrier between the two. "Cameron, please don't get upset. I kind of wanted to go by myself."

Cameron flicked on the light and frowned at the sight of Reid's sleep deprived eyes. "I knew something was bothering you." She brushed her bangs out of her eyes. "You haven't been yourself since we got back from Florida. Do you want to talk to me about it?" She asked, reaching over the bed to make contact, but he pulled back and walked away from her. Her concern for him drove her initial reaction to worry rather then anger.

"There isn't anything to talk about." Spencer said firmly.

"Fine. We can play it that way… I ask if you're okay, you say you're fine, I let you be, and then _finally_ you confess that you need to talk." She sat down on the bed and crossed her arms, "I'll be waiting until you're ready to cooperate."

Reid walked into the adjoining bathroom and slammed the door. Fifteen minutes later Cameron knocked softly on the door, "Spencer. I admit it, I was bluffing. Big mistake, after all, it's you. Please let me in." He opened to door not long afterwards and she followed him in and sat on the counter by the sink. "Why don't you want me to meet your Mom?" She asked after a long silence. "Afraid she won't like me?" She joked. She didn't understand why she couldn't act serious, but Reid had a feeling that it was because she was getting nervous.

"That's not what this is about."

"Come on honey, this doesn't have to be an argument. If you would just tell me... I'd be able to work through it. Even if you think it's awful, I don't care. Just help me understand."

"Like it or not, this is just the way it has to be. I can't make you understand, I can't explain everything to you."

"This isn't like you. Please talk to me. I can tell you're not alright."

"What happened to never profiling each other?"

Cameron remained calim, "I'm not profiling you. But the Spencer I know loves me. He wouldn't... cut me out like this."

"Do you not want me to go?" He asked passively.

"No, of course I want you to go. She's your mother. But you asked me to marry you, so she's part of my life too."

"Cameron, this is my business, okay? There's no need for you to get involved."

"What the hell is the matter with you? You always say that you love me, do you actually mean it?"

Reid froze, he was praying she wouldn't do this, "Cameron, of course I love you."

"I don't understand, you love me but you don't trust me?"

"Cameron… my mother, things are really complicated—"

"I know your Mom's sick. I'm sorry, I know how hard it must be—"

Reid cut her off, "You couldn't possibly imagine." He shook his head bleekly.

"Spencer!" She yelled. "What's happening? You always trusted me."

Reid glued his eyes to the ground, "You're acting childish."

"What, because I'm upset? You can't be in love with me and ask me to be your wife and then do this!" Cameron started to yell as her eyes fogged up.

"Stop shouting at me."

"Stop telling me what to do." She shot back.

"I don't know what else to say. I'm leaving first thing in the morning. I... I guess I'll see you when I get back."

"Fine." Cameron said as she headed downstairs to sleep on the couch.

For Cameron, sleep only came when the sun started to rise. For Reid, sleep never came. True to his word he left at the crack of dawn. She kept her eyes closed so she wouldn't have to deal with an uncomfortable goodbye. She anxiously held her breath as she heard Reid leave the house, and the last sound she heard before she drifted off was the click of the door locking behind him.

* * *

**A/N: So there was my shot at a dramatic scene. Now there's a big conflict for the characters. Do you think one of them is in the wrong? Hope you all enjoyed the chapter. More to come soon. Please review! :D**


	4. Bad Dream, Bad Reality

**A/N: Here is my next chapter... Sorry for the wait I got sick and it was a lousy few weeks :p**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

* * *

Despite being on a very crowded public flight to Las Vegas, Spencer Reid was feeling very lonely. He had been dreading his confrontation with Cameron and had avoided it as long as possible. The end result was even worse then he could have predicted.

Thinking about it now, this sudden change in their relationship felt ridiculous. Everything in their lives had seemed so perfect before, and now there was this. A month had passed since he'd taken Cameron to the Fourth of July fireworks. He couldn't keep his eyes off her as she watched happily. She loved fireworks an obscene amount, she was like a little kid. He decided that day that he wanted her to be his wife. He wanted to do it then and there, without a ring. But then he started thinking and worrying about how to propose to this woman. It was hard to be romantic when you didn't know where to start.

Reid closed his eyes, _I never should have left like that. I never wanted to make her feel bad. I didn't mean to cut her out. I just need to be alone. I need to do this on my own. _

He was just exhausted and feeling absolutely sick thinking about Cameron's reaction to his decision, he felt sick thinking about how he spoke to her. He felt sick remembering the hurt look on her face. He just felt sick. He cracked his eyes and peeked out the window as they lifted into the air. His decision to go had been highly influenced and highly unplanned. His decision to leave her behind was one he felt horrible about. But he didn't see any other way. He shook his head and blinked his eyes, _I really hope she doesn't forget that I love her._

'_You fell of the wagon again.' She shook her head tears falling from her eyes. 'At least you landed on your needle, right?' She shuddered at the cruelness of her words. _

'_Cameron, I'm sorry alright. This…this is the last time I swear.' His words were catching as his throat clamped up. _

'_Liam, I can't to this again. I can't lift you up anymore. I keep trying and I failed again. I can't live knowing that I keep screwing up and I'm not able to help you.'_

_She moved in closer to him as her hands started to shake, 'I… I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have anything left to give you.' _

_Tears slipped from his eyes as he let go of her hand and turned around. 'Wait!' She called. 'This doesn't mean I love you any less.' Her eyes filled with tears and her face paled. _

_He turned back to face her, ' 'You were destined to fall in love with me.'_

'_Spencer?'_

Cameron awoke with a start drenched in sweat. _Oh, God.__I was just another dream. _She'd had nightmares about Liam for years. But never like this.

"That can't be what's wrong with him." She said to no one in particular. "No…no. I know Spencer; I trust Spencer, and why shouldn't I? This is nothing like how it was before. I'm just driving myself crazy." She rolled her eyes, "Now I'm talking to myself. Great." But she couldn't shake that nagging feeling that she'd once again failed to help someone she loved.

She looked at the clock, almost 11 a.m. There was only one place for her to go.

* * *

By noon she was sitting on the floor of Garcia's office trying to talk out her problems, and she remained there for nearly two hours.

"I just feel so terrible for yelling at him."

"I know, since when do you yell?" Garcia asked with a sympathetic laugh.

"It's driving me crazy that this happened and the only emotions I can come up are sad and angry. I don't know if its something I did. I don't know whether I should be mad or worried. Penelope, this isn't like him."

"I know Sweetums, but he's Reid. Whatever's bothering him will pass, he might just need to be alone."

"Did he mention anything to you?" Cameron knew that Reid and Penelope were pretty close.

Garcia shook her head, "Honestly, I think you're the only one he'd tell."

Cameron looked out of Garcia's open office door, the bullpen was busy, but not with BAU activity. Emily was visiting her family, as was Morgan. Hotch was planning on having Jack over and Rossi was planning a fishing trip. J.J. and Penelope had taken their vacations earlier. And of course Reid was in Vegas. Cameron bit her lip, _And I'm still here._

"I hope I'm not taking too much of your time." Cameron said apologetically.

"Pft. I'm supposed to be working but there's nothing to do. Besides I'd rather talk to you." Garcia reached down and pinched her cheek, "So what are you going to do for your vacation?"

Cameron shrugged, "I thought about going to see my family, but I feel guilty going home without Reid. Maybe I'll join the circus." Cameron perked up slightly.

Garcia gave Cameron a sympathetic smile. _Poor dear But they've been together entirely too long to have never fought._

Suddenly Cameron heard Hotch yelling into Garcia's office from down the hall, "Garcia! I need you to look up Cameron's location for me. I have to talk to her right now."

Cameron poked her head into view. "I'm right here, boss." She said with a wave.

Hotch's eyes were wide and panicked, "Cameron I just got off the phone with the Nevada Regional Hospital. They were looking for you. It's Reid."

* * *

**A/N: Please review my friends!**


	5. Making Predictions

**A/N: Again, there was a bit of a wait for this chapter. I hope to update more often because I need the chapters to be short for the story's flow. Anyways I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield and her related characters.**

* * *

Cameron swore at that moment, her world stopped. She felt her breath catch and in a span of a few seconds, it felt like hours had passed. She just stood in shock, unaware of Garcia's reaction and only catching the panicked tone that hung on Hotch's words.

"Cameron, Cameron?" Hotch grabbed her by the shoulder and gave her a gentle shake.

She snapped back to reality in an instant, "Uh, Garcia... I need to get to Nevada, is there anyway you could get me on the first flight out."

Hotch shook his head, "The jet's ready. It's all taken care of."

Cameron's voice began to waiver, "Will— ah, could you come with me. Things will fall apart if I go by myself. I can't go out there on my own."

Hotch nodded his head the minimal amount and quickly ushered her out of Garcia's office, mentioning something to Garcia about calling with details, and not to worry the others until they found out what condition Reid was in.

Cameron sat numbly in the sun filled plane, trying to control her nervous energy. She realized she'd been so shocked, so panicked, she never asked Hotch exactly what happened. She knew him well enough to know that whatever happened was bad. She was almost afraid to ask.

She tucked her hair behind her ears and cleared her throat, "Ah— did the hospital tell you what happened?"

His head perked up, she hadn't made so much as a sound since they left, "They wouldn't give me any details. Just that he was driving a rental car and got into an accident."

"Oh."

Hotch put his cell phone down, "Do you want to talk about anything?"

Cameron looked out the window absently, "I should have been there with him. Everyone knows I'm the better driver." Cameron stiffened at her inappropriate joke. "Instead he get's hurt and I'm a thousand miles away."

"Well," Hotch began, "I was slightly confused when they called looking for you. I assumed you'd be with him. It just so happened that I was stopping by the office to pick up a few things when the hospital called saying they couldn't reach you at home."

"We got had a big argument last night." She paused and shook her head, "Sorry. This is unprofessional."

Hotch held up his hand, "Forget that, we're not working. What happened?"

Her voice sounded robotic, "I woke up last night to find him checking his departure time for his flight to Las Vegas. A flight he didn't tell me about. Who knows, I probably wouldn't have found out until I woke up the next morning in an empty bed." It surprised her that she wasn't as angry as she sounded. "Anyways, I over-reacted and now look where we are."

Hotch stiffened appropriately, "I'm sorry."

"Who would have thought that I could make so many stupid decisions in such a short time span?"

"What do you mean?"

"I yelled and I pushed him too hard, I accused him of not loving me. Why the hell would I say that? I didn't try hard enough to find out why he was upset. I allowed him leave angry. I didn't say goodbye and I slept on the sofa." She took a breath, "I really screwed this up."

"I can guarantee you that Reid doesn't care about any of this. And I'm sure all he wants right now is to see you." Hotch's voice was firm.

Cameron feigned a smile, "You know the funny thing? I never talk to people like that. I only yell at people I love. Imagine that? I guess the only other person I ever yelled at like that was… well Liam." Hotch just raised an eyebrow.

"Liam's my ex, and the only man I can say I loved as much as Reid. He gave me a lot of trouble, though."

"Reid's been giving you trouble?"

She shook her head, "Aside from last night he's without fault."

Hotch frowned with concern, "Cameron, are you going to be alright?"

"I'm afraid… of hospitals, first of all. The worst thing that ever happened to me started and ended in a hospital. I've done everything to avoid them. I never realized that I'd have to go back."

"Cameron, you know you're strong enough to handle this."

"No, I can't. Eight months ago I lost everything. Connor died, I abandoned Liam. Other then my parents; Spencer is all I have left. I can't take losing anything else."

She wasn't crying but she was close to, "This time, I_ know_ it's my fault. There's no coming back from that."

"Cameron, we don't even know how bad things are yet, there's no need to get yourself all worked-up. Why don't you try calling the hospital? They'd release his status to you."

Cameron crossed her arms, "No. Come on Hotch, we've both already come to the same conclusion." He remained unresponsive. "If the accident wasn't bad, Reid would have called me himself. And if not me, then you, or somebody. He hasn't, which means he can't."

Cameron rubbed her face, "You know how profilers try to predict how people are going to react in a given situation?" Hotch nodded nervously, he was starting to worry.

"Well, one of us should try and predict, you know, just in case, how I'm going to react to losing Reid after making the choice to not say goodbye."

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**A/N: So whatdcha think?? PS. Expect an update somewhat soon.**


	6. Bruised

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. I just started university and it's been really busy, but on the plus side, this is a longer chapter. Please enjoy and review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

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The first thing that struck Cameron about hospitals was that awful smell that was always present when you worked through the door. As she walked through the door at Nevada General, the pungent aroma of antiseptic hit her like a ton of bricks and for one split second she almost turned around. But she managed to adjust to the smell as they walked to the services desk. Cameron stood urgently at the desk and quietly addressed the nurse who was on the phone and could only be bothered to respond with vague gestures.

Cameron's eyes widened and she crossed her arms, Hotch nodded sympathetically. What felt like hours later, the nurse hung up the phone and attended to Cameron and Hotch, "Now, yes sir, how can I help you?"

Cameron pressed her body close to the desk and spoke firmly, "I'm looking for Spencer Reid, he was air lifted here after an automobile accident." She averted her eyes and cleared her throat, "Could you please tell me which room he's in?"

The nurse turned to the computer and looked up the information, "Miss, what is your relationship to the patient?"

Cameron looked exasperated and Hotch patted her hand under the desk comfortingly, "My name is Cameron Mansfield. I'm his fiancé and his medical proxy."

"Alright we haven't been able to speak to his next of kin, is there any way you can get a hold of her?"

Cameron was uncharacteristically punchy and her eyes stared to get foggy, "I… uh… I can try and call her. I'd just like to check on Spencer first if that's alright."

"One minute, I just need to page someone to come and speak with you."

"What do you mean? Can't you please just tell me what room he's in?" Cameron's voice was agitated.

Hotch frowned, "Cameron it's okay, it will just be a second."

The nurse hung up the phone and returned her attention to the desperate Cameron. "Take the elevator to the third floor, turn right down the hall and you'll see a little waiting room. One of Mr. Reid's surgeons will be out to talk to you in a few minutes."

Instantly, tears began to fall out of Cameron's eyes and Hotch immediately realized he really should have tried harder to find out Reid's condition.

Before Cameron had the chance to have a complete meltdown Hotch grabbed her by the elbow and guided her towards the stairs. Cameron couldn't seem to formulate words, her voice was stuck. She wanted to yell and she wanted to know why he was in surgery and who was operating, she wanted to call friends who she could deem skilled enough to take care of Spencer. She wanted to do all of this but all she could do was allow herself to be led upstairs like a helpless child.

When they reached the waiting room he sat her down and poured her a glass of water and insisted that she drink it, which, in her docile state, she did without any fuss.

Several minutes later a tall old man in blue scrubs walked out of the operating room and introduced himself to Hotch and Cameron as Dr. Paddige. He shook Hotch's hand followed by Cameron's, whose arm fell limply to her side. He then asked them both to take a seat. Cameron wanted to resist, they all knew that sitting was never a good sign, but gravity pushed her body into a chair.

"I'm one of several surgeons operating on your fiancé so I'm going to keep this brief." Dr. Paddige cleared his throat, "Mr. Reid has broken several ribs, he has some abrasions to his face and arms, a broken collar bone and some internal bleeding." Cameron's eyes widened drastically and he continued. "We've bolstered several units of blood. He should be fine in that regard. The damage to his heart is more worrisome though. When the front of the car was hit it caused the steering wheel to crush his chest. We're still assessing the damage that was done to his heart. But we should know soon, then we can hopefully monitor it." He leaned over and waited for a response. Cameron tried to regain her composure. She managed to take her eyes off the ground and whispered, "Okay."

Dr. Paddige looked to Hotch for reassurance and he nodded, signaling that it was okay to rejoin the surgery.

With the surgeon out of sight Cameron folded over in her chair and buried her face in her hands. She didn't make a sound, she just sat curled into this semi-ball. Hotch gave her shoulder a small squeeze and she suddenly snapped to attention.

"Cameron, it sounds like they're doing everything they can. He seems to be in excellent hands."

Cameron sat blankly with her hands resting limply in her lap, "The steering wheel crushed his chest, they're trying to 'assess' the damage to his heart." Upon saying this she silently burst into tears. She stood up and bolted to the bathroom with Hotch not far behind.

She got to the bathroom and continued to cry over the sink, wiping her eyes and trying to catch her breath. Hotch entered nervously and stood beside her at the sink. "Cameron, come on, it's okay, just take a deep breath." He tried to be reassuring but was nervous himself and uncomfortable in this position.

But Cameron continued to cry while she tried to regain her composure, she kept trying to talk and ended up choking on her own panicked tears. Hotch was starting to think it might be necessary to have someone give her a sedative.

Through a haze of tears Hotch could make out her saying, "This can't be happening."

"Cameron, it is happening. But I'm right here and you can get through this. You have to hope for the best."

"If Spencer dies—"

Hotch shook his head, "No. It's vital that you not think like that."

"I never should have let him go. I never said 'I love you' before he left. I could have but I was stupid and pretended to sleep instead. I missed my chance to say goodbye." She frantically tried to wipe the tears out of her eyes but they kept coming.

"I can't lose Spencer too. It's just to much it's not fair. He probably thinks I hate him, he shouldn't d—" Cameron couldn't say the word this time, instead she ran into the nearest stall, fell to her knees and threw up.

Hotch stood behind her and calmly pushed her hair behind her shoulders and patted her back until she turned around.

She wiped her face with her sleeve and gave a small cough. She looked up from the floor, "Aaron—" Hotch quickly helped her up from the floor and pulled her into a hug. She just held onto him until she found the will to let go. The she made her way over to the sink where she rinsed her mouth and splashed water on her face. Without saying a word, Hotch calmly led her out of the bathroom. They sat side by side in the waiting room for the next four hours.

* * *

Four hours later Dr. Paddige emerged from the OR with another doctor who introduced himself as Dr. Craig. He remained silent while Paddige ran them through the outcome of the surgery. "Mr. Reid made it through. He's in critical but stable condition, which is a good sign, the best we could have asked for."

Thankfully, four hours of waiting had helped Cameron settle down. "How's his heart?"

"He's lucky it wasn't worse. He could have lost his heart. The bruising on his heart has caused some irregularities in his heart rate."

"His heart— is bruised?" Cameron asked with glassy eyes, seeming completely mortified by the idea of heart damage. Images of Connor flashed through her mind.

Dr. Paddige nodded, "It's a very serious injury but we're lucky we caught it. The next few days are going to be very critical. Recovery for this type of injury can be quite slow going, but if he pulls through, he'll be the picture of health."

Cameron breathed a slight sigh of relief, "When can I go in and see him?"

The doctor shook his head, "Not just yet. The nurse is still getting him set up. He's probably going to be out for a while." Dr. Paddige looked at Cameron's desperate eyes. "Head up the fourth floor ICU in ten minutes and tell the nurse I said it was okay to let you in for a few minutes."

"Thank you Doctor." Hotch said quickly.

"One of us will be by to check on him every couple hours."

Cameron sat down on the edge of her chair, eyes fixed on the clock. Hotch shook his head, "Cameron let's go get you something to eat before we go upstairs."

"I'm not hungry." She replied absently.

"You have to eat something." He said firmly. He softened his voice, "Just a sandwich okay? Five minutes and then we can go see Spencer."

Cameron nodded slightly and pulled herself to her feet, took a deep breath and followed Hotch to the cafeteria.

* * *

Eight minutes later, though not much had actually been eaten, Cameron and Hotch stood outside Reid's room.

"Just you Miss, and you have to make it quick. Two minutes, got it?"

Cameron blinked sadly and opened her mouth to ask for more time when the nurse softly added, "You can spend more time with him later, it's for the best dear."

With a slightly unsteady gait Cameron walked herself into Reid's room and stood in shook almost 3 feet away from the bed.

He was hooked up to dozens of tubes; in his arms, down his throat and in his chest. His face was bruised, cut and sallow. Cameron stared horrified as she watched his chest rise and fall rhythmically. She found solace in knowing that his prognosis wasn't tragic like Connor's was. That knowledge helped her move closer to the bed. She clasped on his hand, holding as tight as she felt appropriate.

She lowered her head and spoke directly to him, a voice that—even in his dissociated state—caused a slight euphoria, "Spencer, before I say anything else I want to say I love you. And I know you love me—I… I never should have said that you didn't. Whatever reasons you have for needing to be alone, I understand okay? None of that matters anymore. All that matters is that **I love you**. Okay? And your going to come back from this, you're going to wake up and we're going to get married and you'll always have me. I'm never going to sleep on the couch again." Her eyes started to water, "I won't sleep on the couch again, okay?" She bent over the bed, her long hair splayed across his chest, and kissed his hand. Her lips lingered there for a few seconds. "I'm coming back soon. We'll talk more then."

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**A/N: Hope you enjoyed!! Let me know what you thought.**


	7. Perspectives

**A/N: Here is the next installment of our little story. Please enjoy and review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

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'_I'll never sleep on the couch again.'_

_You won't ever have to, he thought. He made a promise to himself that when he woke up he would do everything he could to make her happy. Reid tried to smile, he wanted to show some sign that he was with her, and he could hear her, feel her. He tried to will his nerves to send a message to his fingers so they could squeeze her hand back. But... nothing. _

_He was surprised he could hear anything. Cameron's serene voice, the squeaking of rubber-soled shoes, the constant beeping that told him he was in a hospital._

_He was even surprised he could feel anything, as unfortunate as it was. His entire body screamed with pain. He found pleasure in feeling though, pleasure in feeling her hand on his. Her lips when they touched his skin, the smell of his hair when in tickled his chest. Mostly he felt a terrible dull ache in his heart, a pain that came from hearing her apologizing and blaming herself. The whole thing was his fault to begin with. He wanted to wake up soon so he too could tell her how he felt._

_His heart was aching._

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As the day quickly turned to night the hospital began to look more and more like a ghost town. Hotch and Cameron were sitting side by side in the ICU waiting room keeping each other company. Cameron seemed oddly calm, probably purely from exhaustion. Hotch just kept himself busy, looking at his watch, getting coffee, and trying to keep Cameron engaged.

Sitting with her legs folded under her, Cameron was the picture of stillness. She had felt surprisingly reassured after seeing Reid. The fact that he was hanging in there gave her the strength to keep her composure.

"Aaron?" Cameron's abrupt break of silence caught Hotch's attention immediately.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm really sorry." She began in an apologetic voice. "You had big plans with Jack and instead you're stuck here with me."

Hotch just shook his head and help up his hand, he wanted to be there for Cameron and Reid. But she continued, "I know how important your son is to you." She couldn't keep the sadness out of her voice that time. "But I want you to know how much it means to me. I really appreciate it. I know that this level of emotion probably exceeds your—comfort level. But… thank you."

Hotch just gave slight smile and nodded, he was proud of himself. A strange thing to think but he was just really surprised that he had figured out how to play the friend card today. He was proud of her too, she was hanging in there better then he'd predicted. Especially if he took her earlier meltdown as any indication.

"When do you think we'll be allowed to see him again?" She was beginning to get concerned, five hours had passed and he was still unconscious and they hadn't let her back in.

"Why don't we go see if you can't go in for a few more minutes, the Doctor should be coming by soon anyways."

They both made their way down the hall where the stopped at the nurses center.  
"Can I please have a few more minutes with him?" Cameron figured that she'd been very reasonable and compliant up until this point.

The nurse looked up sympathetically, "Dr. Craig is in with him right now. We'll see what he says."

Cameron headed in the direction of Reid's room and waited quietly outside until the Doctor was finished.

Dr. Craig was a quiet man with mediocre bedside manner, it wasn't that he was insensitive, he just preferred to not talk to the families of the person he was trying to save. He felt uncomfortable being reminded of the people on the other side who were relying on him to make sure their loved ones recovered.

So imagine his discomfort at being barraged by an intermittently wound up Cameron outside the door of his patient's room.

He paused like a deer in headlights, "Uh, Miss. Mansfield right?" Cameron nodded. "Your fiancé's condition is unchanged, which might be a good thing, simply because hasn't gotten any worse." Craig stood anxiously with his hands in the pocket of his lab coat.

"It might be a good thing? So if it isn't then—"

"It's best just to wait and see, he hasn't had enough recovery time to know for sure. His body is simply trying to heal."

Cameron remained glassy-eyed but calm, nodding she asked, "I understand Doctor, do you think maybe we can go in and spend some time with him anyways?"

He shrugged, he never understood the intensive visitor policy, "It can't hurt. Not too long though." He quickly left them alone and headed downstairs.

Cameron headed into the room confidently while Hotch just hung back to give her a little privacy. Besides, he wasn't sure exactly what he should say to Reid while he was unconscious. Although, this may be his only chance to get a word in edgewise.

"I wish you were awake. Don't get me wrong you look very peaceful when you sleep. I'm not sure if I should tell you this, it might make you uncomfortable, but sometimes I wake up early so I can watch you sleep for a while." Cameron said this with a tearful smile. "But let's be serious Spence, you're a lot more interesting when you're arguing about some random fact." She walked to the other side of the bed and softly brushed his hair of his face, bringing her lips to his forehead, "That's a good sign—no fever." She smiled at the memory, praying that even in his current state he'd still remember it too.

She cleared her throat, "I know that talking to you like this isn't crazy. People might think it is, but you know better. I bet you could name a dozen studies that say unconsciousness does not affect a person's ability to hear sounds and make out voices." Cameron glanced towards to door where Hotch sat staring at the floor, "Hotch is here too, I think he's afraid to come in, but he's really worried about you. We called everyone else but I told them to just stay put for the time being. I figured you wouldn't want everyone here fussing over you and missing their vacations. I'm sure they're all praying for you too."

Cameron fixed her eyes on his face, trying to look past the bruises and cuts, "If you could wake up, just for a little bit, it would make me very happy. I promise, all you have to do is open your eyes for a minute and then you could go right back to sleep. It won't be like at home when I start talking to you just as you drift off. You can go right back to sleep, I promise. Just—" she started to choke on her words again but tried to keep her composure. "I love you." She just really wanted to say it again.

Hotch smiled at her from the doorway as she headed towards him. "I understand if you don't want to go in." She said softly, "He understands, you'll see him when he wakes up."

They headed back to the waiting area that they'd been monopolizing for much of the day. Hotch disappeared only to return moments later with a couple pillows and blankets he'd gotten from the nursing station.

"I assume both of those are for you?" Cameron said with a slight grin as she adjusted her posture.

"Cameron," Hotch said firmly, "you have to get some sleep."

"I'm not tired." She retorted somewhat unconvincingly.

"Well at least take these, and lie down for a bit while I get some sleep." Hotch handed her the pillow and blanket and took his place on the adjacent couch. Hotch's plan worked and within a few minutes she was fast asleep.

**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**

A few hours later Hotch and Cameron awoke to the one sound they dreaded hearing.

Over the hospital PA system they heard the words, "Code blue, code blue. ICU room 127." It was Reid's room.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Sorry it was so short, but the next one is almost finished so I'll update soon! Oh and I apologize if my medical facts aren't great. Please Reivew!**


	8. Falling Asleep

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A/N: Here's the next chapter! I hope you're all enjoying.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

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Hotch and Cameron were at Reid's bedside in a matter of seconds. They were met by a host of doctors and nurses all racing into Reid's room. A nurse pushed quickly passed Cameron and Hotch, "Please stay out here miss, give us some room to work."

Cameron and Hotch stood outside the room, their eyes shinning with panic. They listened to the sounds coming from the room.

"Charging."

"Clear!" The zapping of the defibrillator paddles.

Nothing.

And again, "Charging."

"Clear!"

And again nothing. Cameron felt her heart sink and she slowly lowered herself to the floor. With her knees curled up to her chest she buried her face in her arms. Everything went quiet and dark. She shook her head, and shuddered with sobs, "No, no, no, no, no."

Seconds later, she felt Hotch gently squeeze her shoulder, she looked up and he gestured towards the room. Cameron heard the promising sound of the heart monitor beeping in a steady rhythm.

Cameron jumped off the ground and made a beeline for Reid's room she watched as the doctors put away the paddles and the nurses checking his stats. "What— ah, what happened?" Cameron asked in a watery voice.

"He went into tachycardia. We got his heart going again which is a good sign it means the damage wasn't too severe." Dr. Craig said as he wrote in the chart.

"Not too severe? His heart stopped! How is that not severe? He could have died and—"

Hotch approached the pair, "Cameron, everything's okay, just calm down. Doctor, how is he?"

"Well his heart is stable again, that's a good sign. It wasn't unlikely that this would happen."

Cameron crossed her arms and shook her head as tears slipped out of her eyes. "Why isn't he getting any better?"

Dr. Craig gestured to the monitor, "His heart beat is more stable now then it was before, that's very promising."

Cameron's breath hitched and she took a step back, "I can't deal with this anymore. I just want to know that he's okay."

Dr. Craig just looked at the ground, he wasn't about to go promising things that were ultimately out of his hands, but things were looking up for the young man. He reached out and touched her arm sympathetically, "I understand you're upset, but I can't imagine how afraid you must be. I think he's going to pull through, and I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it." That was a sentiment Cameron knew and understood. He continued, "Miss, why don't you just stay in here for the rest of the night? Try and get some sleep, and if he wakes up come and get me right away."

Cameron managed a weak smile, "I will. Thank you."

Hotch left the room to grab their blankets and when he returned he took a spot in the chair on the far side of the room and Cameron sat in a chair beside Reid, with the upper-half of her body resting on his legs.

Even after the terrifying turn of events, it wasn't long before both Cameron and Hotch were asleep again.

* * *

Reid's eyes began to flutter rapidly, he stretched his muscles and shrank away from the pain that seized every inch of his body. He wiggled his fingers and felt something firm and warm in his hand. He slowly peeled his eyes open and squinted through the dim light at the person laid across his lap.

"Hey, it's you." His voice was raspy and low but as soon as Cameron heard it she jolted awake and shook off another bad dream.

"Spencer? Hotch he's awake! Get Dr. Paddige."

Hotch left the room and Cameron, not letting go of Reid's hand, stood up looked at the monitor and back at him, "Do you have any idea how badly you scared me? I can't believe you're finally awake. How do you feel?"

His breathing was a little off, "Fine, just ah—my chest hurts." He rasped.

Cameron nodded and stroked his hand with her thumb, "You heart stopped, they… had to shock it to make it start again."

Reid scrunched his face painfully, "I see." He looked up at her, taking in every ounce of her presence; red and blue eyes, messy hair, splotchy red cheeks. "Cameron," He mumbled, "you've been crying. Are you alright?"

Hearing that made her start crying again. "No, no. Please don't cry." He gave her hand a squeeze.

"I'm so sorry. I never should have gotten angry at you. I wasn't mad, okay? I love you so much."

He shook his head weakly, "I heard you apologize to me before, It's my turn. I'm sorry, I—"

She held a finger to his lips, "You don't owe me an explanation." She looked at him and felt her heart race, she threw her arms around him. He winced slightly and she pulled back, "Sorry, Spence. I forgot."

He pulled her arm gently back towards him, "Don't make me sit up and hug you, because I will." With a smile, she hugged him again, gentler this time. They were still holding onto one another when the doctor entered the room.

"Well son, it looks like your doing a lot better," Dr. Paddige shuffled around the bed checking his vitals and reflexes.

"Am I? Everything's a bit fuzzy."

"Vitals are within range, reflexes are strong. Very nice. Maybe all you needed was a little company." He said nodding towards Cameron.

"I need to tell you something." He said urgently.

"Spencer, you need to rest. I'm not going anywhere."

"She's right son. Your body is still in recovery, you need to sleep it off."

He attempted to sit up and winced, "No, it's important."

Dr. Paddige shook his head, "I'm making a note on your chart, I'll have the nurse administer something for the pain."

"No," Reid protested, "I'm fine, I don't need anything."

"Spence, look at you. It'll be okay." Cameron turned to the doctor and in a low voice said, "He'd prefer if you didn't prescribe him any narcotics."

"Of course," He changed the notes in the file. "I'll be back to check on you in a couple hours."

Hotch reentered the room and gave Reid a pat on the shoulder, "Good to see you up."

"Well not really up." Reid answered in a raspy voice, his face turned serious, "Are the people in the truck okay?"

"I talked to the police, a kid ran a red light. Everyone in the other car was fine."

"Why— was I out for so long, did I hit my head?"

Cameron shook her head, "You just took a long time to wake up after surgery."

"Surgery? My first one ever, does this mean I get to eat a lot of popsicles?"

"Wow you really are out of it. That's only if you get your tonsils out." Cameron answered with a smile. "I'll see what the doctor says about it tomorrow. Right now you really need to rest."

Reid smiled back but then went serious, "Did someone talk to my mom?"

"I called the hospital and told her doctor what happened, she relayed the message."

"She didn't understand did she?" Reid asked with a sad voice. "It's okay...that's okay. Could you call her back anyways and tell her I'm alright."

"Of course I will." Cameron left the room leaving Hotch with Reid.

Reid stared out the door Cameron had just exited, "Is she okay?"

"She's been having a rough time, but she held her own." Hotch said, he gave Reid a fatherly look, "She really loves you."

Reid's voice got drier, "I know. I feel awful… we had a fight." His head started nodding off but he snapped back, "I really need to tell her something."

"When she gets back I'll give you some privacy."

"Hotch, thank you for taking care of her. She's really lucky to have a friend like you."

Cameron walked into the room pushing her hair off her face, "Your Mom's asleep right now but I left a message so she'll no first thing in the morning."

"Thanks. Cameron I really need to tell you something before the medicine kicks in and I fall asleep again." She grabbed his hand and sat beside him on the edge of his bed.

"Okay but don't take to long. You heard what the doctor said, it's vital that you rest."

"I'm starting— starting to think you prefer me sleeping." He said with a restrained laugh.

She shook her head slowly, "Never. Now what could be so important?"

"You— you deserve to know why I left you like that. It wasn't anything you did. It was about my mom and me. But mostly, it was about me. I just—" He stopped to catch his breath.

"Honey, slow down, it's okay."

"I feel like my head weighs a ton."

"Shhh, just rest alright. It's okay, I'm going to be right here when you wake up." She smoothed his hair and pulled his blankets over him.

"I'll just rest my head for a minute. I'll tell you when I wake up…" His fought to keep his eyes open.

"I'm going to be right here when you wake up." She repeated as he finally gave into sleep.

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**Please Review, next chapter Reid's going to honest and tell Cameron why he needed to be alone.**


	9. Confessions

**A/N: Enjoy! Please read and review! Thanks again to those of you with incredible feedback!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

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Things were pretty quiet the rest of the night and into the next morning. Reid just slept calmly thanks to the medicine Dr. Paddige prescribed. Cameron was so relieved that Spencer was awake she didn't feel sleepy anymore and jut allowed Hotch to sleep while she drank coffee and took long strolls around the hospital.

She never got too far from Reid's room though, and she continuously popped by to make sure he was doing okay. The nurses just let her in now because there was no point in trying to keep her out.

Cameron started to wonder what Reid had been trying to tell her last night, she had the feeling that he had more then just an apology in mind. Halfway through her third stroll around the deserted corridors, Cameron realized something. She had been too afraid to actually _be_ afraid of the hospital. She was so worried about Reid she hadn't had the chance to remember how terrifying it was to back in another hospital.

Of course, upon realizing this Cameron was desperate to get back to Reid and Hotch and just stay with them for the remainder of their time here. As she took the stairs back to the cardiac ICU she couldn't help but think, _Look at me. I actually made it through a night in the hospital. More importantly, look at us, we both made it through this._

Hotch was sitting beside Reid's bed in the midst of some conversation. Cameron smiled and pulled a chair up beside him. "Sorry to be gone when you woke up, I just went for a walk."

Reid shook his head as to dismiss her apology, "I feel like Rip Van Winkle. It's like I slept for a hundred years."

"That must have been nice." She said with a bright smile that turned slightly serious, "How are you feeling?"

"Better… I think. Sort of achy I guess, but good for the most part." He cricked his finger and ushered her in closer. She leaned in a received a slightly unexpected kiss. "Good morning." He whispered hoarsely.

She smiled back cheerfully, "I love you so much." She turned to Hotch, reminding herself of his presence in the room. "You may want to look away." She said with a smile as she returned his kiss with an even better one.

When she pulled away, Reid altered his tone, "Cameron I still have something really important that I need you to know okay. I have to say it now, before I lose my nerve and never tell you."

Cameron suddenly mirrored Reid's anxiousness, "Aaron, do you think you could give us a minute?"

Hotch nodded seriously and left the room without a sound.

Once Hotch was out of ear-shot Cameron took Reid's hand, "Okay, anything you need to say, you can say. I'm right here, you can tell me."

Reid nodded and started speaking, "I want to start by saying sorry again. I know you think I don't need to apologize but I do… I really do and I really am sorry."

Cameron bit her lip and nodded, "It's okay. It's okay, I understand."

Reid shook his head, "I want you to_ really_ understand. I just… have to say it." He paused and took a breath then continued.

"There is something I'm really afraid of, and it's not the dark." He looked up and her, "I'm afraid of what's going to happen me if I get sick like my mom."

His words hit Cameron like a ton of bricks, "Spencer. You're going to be fine. There's no way to know if you inherited anything."

"There's no way to know that I didn't. I know my chances: 65 percent, maybe as high as 80. And I'm right at the age—"

"Spencer," Cameron cut him off, "please stop this. You can't be thinking like this."

He tried to pull his hand away from her, "This is why I thought it would be better if you didn't come with me. I have to think about it, but you shouldn't have to deal with this."

Cameron looked genuinely hurt, "You don't think I'd be able to be there for you if…"

"I don't want you to have to. Cameron, I've never been able to face the facts about this illness, my mom's, maybe mine." He looked away from her, "That's why I've never been able visit her. I can't even be around her without wondering 'how long?'" He cringed at how selfish that sounded.

Both Reid and Cameron were on the verge of tears, the sterile feel of the hospital and the dulled sounds of the ICU completely consumed them. Cameron was overcome with guilt because she had no clue that he was having these thoughts. Reid was beginning to wonder if mentioning it at all was a mistake, even though she said she wanted to know, the silence didn't support that.

Finally Cameron spoke up, "Spence, I—I wish you would have told me sooner, that you were feeling this way."

Reid remained silent for a few seconds, and then he cleared his throat, "I never told anyone, but I was even more afraid to tell you."

Cameron's face noticeably fell, but Reid continued, "Before you think that I don't trust you, it's not that. No, the, uh, the funny thing is that, if you were still just that sweet stranger on the plane you were eight months ago, I would have told you without a moment's hesitation. That's how much I trust you, how much I've always trusted you. It's just that— the equation's different now."

Cameron tried to keep her eyes from fogging up, "It is?"

Reid nodded minimally, "Back then, I didn't have anything. I didn't have anyone, so I had nothing to lose." He paused and looked at her earnestly, "Now, I have so much to lose. I thought that if I told you, you'd be afraid. I won't think any less of you if you are. I am. I thought that if you got close enough to seeing the reality of what might happen, that I'd lose you."

Tears slid slowly out of Cameron's eyes, she blinked a few times and squeezed his hand tighter, not daring to let go, "Spencer, you will never lose me. Okay? Please don't forget that. You'll never lose me." She closed her eyes and took a breath. "I never realized that you had this weighing on you. Please believe me when I say, nothing could tear me away from you."

He nodded intensely, "I know. I should have known all along. I wanted to come and see my mom so I could see if I was ready for—" He paused momentarily to take a breath. "I didn't want you to have to deal with the reality of the situation until I was sure I could handle it."

"We'll be able to handle it, I promise." She gave him a serious look, "It's always better to hope for the best. I know how that sounds, but that's the truth. I don't want us to live with a dark cloud over our heads for our entire lives, I assume you don't either."

He shook his head, "Don't you worry about starting a family, I know that girls always think about things like that…I mean what's going to happen?"

Cameron felt an ache in her heart, "The thing is, I'm just not ready to think about a family yet. You know, I need more time before I'll be there." She rubbed her eyes, "I hope… I hope that's okay."

He nodded sensitively; he understood that she wasn't ready to think about more children yet. Maybe not ever, to be honest, he wasn't ready either.

He smiled up at her and patted the bed beside him, she promptly slipped in beside him and allowed him to wrap his arms around her. "Are you alright like this? You're not in any pain are you?"

He shook his head and she snuggled in beside him, closed her eyes and fell asleep within minutes.

When Hotch returned to the room Reid quickly gestured to Cameron, "Shhh, she must be exhausted."

Hotch smiled and set her coffee down, "I won't stay, the nurse is making her rounds and she'll want to see that you're resting." Hotch went to leave the room but turned back abruptly, "Is everything okay now?"

Reid smiled and looked down at Cameron as she slept and nodded, "Everything's great." He looked back at Hotch, "Thank you for everything. You're a good friend."

Hotch left the room with a smile on his face, he always knew that they'd make it. They had to. He was so happy that his team won this one.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed! I'll update soon.**


	10. The Visitors

**A/N: Sorry for the wait but I've been busy and I had writer's block anyways. I know... excuses. Please Read, Review and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I own Cameron Mansfield.**

* * *

Everything felt so settled between Cameron and Reid, almost back to normal. Being in the hospital was driving him crazy but having Cameron and Hotch there helped to kill some of the boredom. Also, one by one, on their way back from their vacations: Rossi, Prentiss and Morgan came to visit him.

Morgan came first and as soon as he heard that Reid was in pretty good shape he started in on his brotherly teasing.

"Kid, you could have at least combed your hair." Morgan joked as he walked into Reid's hospital room.

"Morgan!" Reid croaked with surprise, "What are you doing here? Thanks for all the sympathy, by the way."

Morgan grinned, "Cameron told me you were doing well, I figured a joke wouldn't hurt your recovery." He turned his attention to Cameron, giving her a hug, "Hey, how you doing?"

"I'm good Derek. I'm glad you came."

Reid smoothed his hair, "Did you have a good time with your mom and sisters Morgan?"

Morgan grinned knowingly, "There's nothing like going home kid."

Reid looked to Cameron anxiously, he'd never felt that much pleasure in coming home.

Sensing the tension in the room, Morgan picked up a book of crosswords and flipped through the completed pages rolling his eyes jokingly. "Jeez Braniac, you didn't take any time off did you? The doc say how much longer you were stuck here?"

Cameron gave him an annoyed look, "Thanks a lot Morgan, I've had a hard enough time trying to convince him that the doctor's not keeping him here as a punishment."

Reid shrugged miserably, "He said I should be clear to work in two weeks or so. But he's already talking about discharging me in the next two days. So I don't see why I can't just go back—"

"Because honey, he's the doctor, and he knows what he's talking about. If he thinks you need more time, then please just take it."

Reid nodded sheepishly and Cameron gave him a playful wink.

Morgan just rolled his eyes at the young lovers, "So…" He mused aloud, "have you two set a date yet. Or did you just go ahead and elope in Vegas like everyone else?"

**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMMCMCMCMC**

Rossi was the next visitor, he entered the room somewhat uncomfortably, he appeared to have a complex about hospital similar to that of Cameron's.

Sitting in a chair, sipping his to-go cup of coffee, Rossi managed to provide some new entertainment for Reid… in the form of a political debate.

Hotch, who was lounging in his own chair turned to Cameron, "Can you believe they're actually debating politics in the hospital?"

Cameron shook her head, "I know… I feel like we should be getting in on it, we're missing ou—" Cameron stopped, startled by the sight of Rossi slamming his coffee cup onto the bedside tray.

"You cannot possibly agree with that!" He said this while managing to be intimidating without actually yelling.

"Statistics have shown that a federation is—"

Cameron interjected before things got out of hand, "Okay boys that's enough politics for now… before someone losses an eye."

Rossi held up his hands, "Fine. I'm done. Changing the subject: Cameron do you know when you'll be moseying on back to the BAU?"

Cameron stole a glance at Hotch, who decided to answer the question himself, "I keep telling her to stay off until Reid's ready to come back… but she still insists on thinking about it."

"I'm with you. I think she should stay off with him for a little while." Rossi agreed nodding seriously.

"Aaron and Dave," Cameron spoke in an annoyed voice, "I am sitting right here. And I want to think about it because I don't want the team to be two agents short."

"Oh Cameron, you shouldn't worry so much. We'll manage without the two of you. Besides if we do need help, you're both only a phone call away. You should stay with Reid." He nodded his head definitively, "It's obviously what you want to do."

Reid nodded thoughtfully, "Because of this whole mess you haven't had anything even resembling a vacation. You should accept Hotch's offer."

Cameron smiled at her friends, "Thank you." She said honestly, "But please call if you need anything."

Rossi sat up, "I really need another coffee."

Everyone laughed a little as Cameron shook her head, "Can I get anyone else anything?"

The other two men shook their heads and Cameron left the room after giving Rossi an annoyed sock to the shoulder.

Once she was out the door Rossi stood up to shut it, "Good, now that your fiancés is gone I can get down to business. It's time to seal the deal."

Reid gave Hotch a confused look. "It's time to get married." Hotch clarified.

Reid ran his hands through his hair, "Why is everyone so stuck on that all of a sudden?"

Rossi focused his eyes, "Because that's what happens after you propose Reid. Trust me, I've done it three times."

"Dave we— we will talk about it eventually, we haven't even been engaged that long."

Rossi nodded, "Talking's fine. But just remember where you are Spencer."

**CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM**

Emily was Reid's final guest, who came in the middle of the night (because of her late flight back from France) and bearing gifts.

Flushed and full of energy Emily burst into the room, "Sorry to come by so late. I promise I won't keep you awake Reid." She gave him a big hug and smiled, "Oh, J.J. and Garcia are sorry they couldn't leave work, but here: they asked me to give you these."

Emily pulled out a hand knitted scarf from Garcia and a tin of homemade cookies from J.J.

Cameron wrapped the scarf around his neck while he munched on one of the cookies.

"Hmm—mmm, really good!" He said with a mouth full of cookie crumbs and added, "I'm so tired of hospital food."

Emily rolled her eyes, "You're so picky Reid. It can't be that bad."

Cameron eyed her suspiciously, "Em, have you ever tried hospital food?"

She shook her head, which prompted Cameron to hand her a bowl of untouched casserole. Emily took a large forkful and popped it in her mouth. As she chewed a look of disgust crossed her face and she had to force herself to swallow.

Cameron handed her a cup of water and once she had the taste out she turned to Reid, "You're right. It is as bad as they say."

* * *

True to her word, Emily left once Reid started to burn out. Putting down her coffee Emily's face showed great concern, "How are you doing, honestly?"

Cameron allowed her brave face to waver, "It's been tough. I feel like I've been having a weak long panic attack."

Emily eyed her friend carefully, her face was pale and her eyes were lined by dark circles. She knew that the anniversary of Connor's death was fast approaching, and she was sure Cameron hadn't forgotten either. "I could hear on the phone that you were terrified and you look exhausted. I'm glad that you're taking some time off."

Cameron smiled sleepily and sighed, "Emily I want to ask you for a favour."

"Okay, shoot."

"Well, since I have two sisters I don't want to pick one over the other. They'll both be my bridesmaids. And... I want you to be my maid of honour."

Emily gasped, "Oh Cameron! I'd love to." She threw a big hug on her and then did a double take, "Wait, does that mean you've picked a date."

Cameron grinned, "No, not yet. We really haven't talked about it at all. To be honest, there are only a handful of people I think should be there and I want to do it soon. It feels like the right time for us."

"I bet if you talked to Reid you'd find that you both want the same things for the wedding."

Cameron smiled and took a sip of her coffee, "So has the whole team been waiting for us to make a decision since the night he proposed?"

Emily laughed, "We set up the betting pool the next day."

* * *

By the next night the entire team, including Hotch, was back in Quantico. Cameron slept, like she always did—once the nurse made her rounds—curled up beside Reid in his little hospital bed.

Dr. Paddige stopped by early the next morning and announced that Reid was ready to be discharged, as long as he took things easy.

Just before noon, Cameron was packing their stuff in a duffle bag she bought from the gift shop.

"I can do that myself you know." Reid argued as Cameron helped him into a sweater.

"I know that, but you need to rest as much as possible. We don't want the doctor to change his mind." Cameron said with a smile.

"I hope you don't mind staying in Vegas for a little while."

"No it's good. Besides, Dr. Paddige says you aren't ready to fly home yet." Cameron sat beside him on the bed and let him wrap his arm around her, "But to make things clear, I know what kind of ideas Mogan's been putting in your head. And we are **not** eloping in Vegas."

* * *

**Hope everyone enjoyed... like I said, I've been to stresses to write, but I got it done :D**


	11. The Right Choice

**A/N: OKAY! Here's the thing, I know it has been a long time but I just finished a semester of universtiy and I have some time off so I should be able to start writing again. I'm sure some of you have forgotten about the story but I missed writing it and I am happy to start up again.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! do own Cameron Mansfield.**

* * *

"I thought we'd never find a room." Cameron breathed as she tossed their bag on the floor by the door.

"Cameron, we had a room—three of them actually. You made him change them because they couldn't give us a room on the first floor." Reid argued with determination.

"You can't be walking up the stairs until your ribs are healed. I knew we'd find something…Vegas has like a million hotels and motels."

"We could have just gone to a hotel, they have elevators you know.

"I just wanted you to be able to relax and rest. And I just don't think that the strip is too relaxing a place." She smiled at him as she plopped her body down on the bed.

"You didn't have to go through all this trouble…" He paused for a second, "I'm sorry I slept the whole drive."

Cameron sat up, "Well that's what you're supposed to be doing silly…resting." She smiled as he struggled to remove his sweater. "Here let me." She slipped the sweater off his shoulders with ease. He turned around and gently cupped her face in his hand, kissing her lips tenderly. Cameron reached up and stroked his hair softly as he continued to kiss her. He loved how good it felt to be able to smell her hair, touch her skin, feel her body against is. He started to miss her the second he got on the plane, true, but now that he had her back in his arms, now that they were alone, he realized how _knew _much he'd missed her.

A whisper tried to escape Cameron's lips as he brushed her hair off her shoulders and began to kiss her neck.

Short of breath, Cameron pulled her body away from his, "Spencer, come on, enough. We have to stop."

He gave her a look, "I disagree… it would be much better if we didn't stop."

"I know you can't recognize this, but you're in too much pain right now to do what you want to do. You can't even bend to tie your shoes without wincing." Cameron leaned in and kissed him very lightly, "I'll do everything I can to not excite you. Look— no makeup, dark circles, messy hair. When you can laugh without it hurting, then I'll make sure to keep you excited all night long.

Reid smiled shyly and wrapped his arm around her waist and guided her over to the motel room bed, "Can we at least lie down for a little while and rest? I'm exhausted." He admitted.

Cameron smiled, "Hmm, I would love that." She adjusted the pillows for Reid, pulled down the covers and crawled to the other side of the bed.

Cameron snuggled close too him and allowed his body to warm hers, just like he always did. She buried her head in his shoulder as she attempted to stifle a yawn.

He stroked her head, "You must be exhausted. He added teasingly, "I think it's actually you who's too tired for a little funny business."

Cameron closed her eyes and mumbled softly, "Maybe. But my point still stands…"

Reid nudged her gently a few minutes later, "I was thinking about visiting my mom tomorrow" he paused momentarily "I want you to come with me."

Cameron peeled her eyes opened and smiled a brilliant smile, "I'll be there for you as long as you need me, if your sure you're ready for us to meet. I really understand if you need more time before you're—"

He shook his head in protest, "No, I just want to be less afraid, I don't want this anxiety to weigh me down. Besides, Mom told me she really wanted to meet you."

"She really said that?" She questioned nervously.

"Of course if we're going to get married she's going to want to know you. I'll be there, it will be okay."

"Do you think she'll like me? Is there anything I can do to… you know to impress her?"

"It depends on what kind of day she's having, but even if she's having a bad day, eventually she'll be having a good day and then she'll love you."

Cameron laid her head back down and closed her eyes, silently hopping that his mother would have a good day. Because for the first time in while she felt relaxed and calm, and he felt like he had finally managed to do what felt right.

* * *

**A/N: As always, I hope you enjoyed, and please read and review! I appreciate the feedback... it gives me extra motivation.**


	12. Visiting Mom

**A/N: Here you go folks! Latest entry in the story of Cameron and Reid, enjoy all!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

* * *

On the day that Cameron and Spencer were going to visit Diana Reid, they were inadvertently running late. Reid was still very sore and needed help getting ready, and Cameron was a girl and needed help picking out what to wear.

"Are you sure the dress isn't too short?" Cameron asked as she straightened out Reid's tie.

Reid smiled, "Stop worrying, you look nice. I think its sweet you want to dress up for Mom, but you could go in your pajamas and she wouldn't care."

Cameron picked up her purse and headed out of the room, "So, I had this dream last night, where your mom kept on asking me all these questions about medieval literature, and every time I got one wrong, she tacked on another grandchild that she wanted…" Reid started to chuckle. Cameron smiled, "Come one, I really need you to tell me about the Canterbury Tales."

"Mom isn't going to interrogate you, even if it's a bad day. Actually, from what I remember she really likes the notion of people being in love."

With Cameron in the driver's seat they made the 45 minute trip to Bennington, music in the background and a slight conversation. When they pulled into the parking lot she bit her lip and Reid turned to her, "Everything is going to be alright, she's my mom and even though she's sick, she wants me to be happy and she wants to like you." Cameron smiled and nodded, as she made her way to help Reid out of the car, looping her arm around his waist she said, "Well I know I'll love her, because something in her made you who you are. And I love you."

* * *

"Diana Reid your visitors are in the den" Nurse Matlin informed her, interrupting her story. She looked up at the nurse and gave a wink, "My son just got out of the hospital and he said he was coming to see me."

"Yes, that's right and it looks like he brought his fiancé with him, so just head on in and let me know if you'd like us to get you any tea or coffee."

Diana stood up, clutching her book to her chest like a schoolgirl. As she headed into the den she saw the same son she'd had for years; skinny with huge eyes, but this time his face was bruised and he wasn't sitting by himself. Perched anxiously beside him was this little girl, clearly she was older then she looked. She reminded Diana of an actress from the thirties, as she sat in a blue dress with fair hands rested in her son's lap.

Reid turned his attention away from Cameron for a second and saw his mom, causing and immediate smile to adorn his face. They both stood and Diana gave Reid a gentle hug and Cameron received a warm handshake.

Cameron smiled charmingly and tried her best not to seem insecure while she took a good look at Ms. Reid. It stuck her how strongly mother and son resembled each other, same thin frame and big eyes.

"Oh, Spencer… so this is the Cameron from your letters?" She asked with excited, possibly wary eyes.

Spencer gently put an arm around her waist, "Yes, this is her. Trust me she's even better then I described."

"Well I'll need to sit down and talk to her first," Diana suggested quickly.

Cameron mentally flinched, _was that an insult? Or was she just being honest. Oh just relax. _Cameron gestured to the furniture and they all sat down, "It's very nice to meet you Ms. Reid."

"You should probably call me Diana, it seems appropriate."

Cameron nodded with a smile and Reid turned to his mom, "So how are you feeling Mom?"

"I'm just fine dear" she said quickly, "you are the one who got into an accident. Was someone following you in their car?"

Reid frowned only slightly, "No Mom, I just got into a little trouble on the road, I'm feeling better."

"You don't look it," she turned to Cameron, "Will you make sure he eats and rests for me?"

Cameron nodded, "It'd be my pleasure, but if you don't mind it was a long drive, I just need to use the restroom. I'll be right back."

Once Cameron was out of earshot, Diana turned to Spencer, "She seems very nice. Very likeable, I can see why it's her."

Reid smiled shyly, "Well, it could never be anyone else Mom."

"I could tell, she's your Beatrice dear."

"I guess that would make me Dante?"

"A mother knows Spencer. The way you look at her, it's a very special look that only comes when you love someone very much."

Spencer grabbed her hand, "You always knew me better then anyone Mom. I know you always thought I was… special—"

"You were extraordinary," Diana interrupted.

Reid blushed slightly, "I just want you to know that she's special enough to be with me, I feel it might be imbalanced for one person to have this much fortune."

"I don't think love is about fortune Spencer. Its just something that happens for some people, and some don't deserve it, but you do."

Spencer's voice got more intense, "See, Mom this is the thing I've been trying to figure out: aside from the chemicals, I don't understand where love comes from and why it feels the way it does."

Diana leaned forwards interested, "Well, have you figured it out?"

"I—I don't know… maybe. It's not very scientific, but I think we do it because…. We need it. I've always had you, but all this time I never experienced what I have now. Then when I got on that plane without her, and when I got in that accident, it hit me. That when you loose it, even for a moment, you'll do anything to get it back." He paused nervously, "You need it, I guess it's really not an equation and that's why it took me so long to understand it."

Diana smiled proudly, "Oh, Spencer, you always knew things that other people didn't know. And now you know—"

Reid interrupted and smiled as Cameron headed back from the restroom, "I know why we love."

* * *

After lunch and a game of Scrabble, Cameron explained that she needed to take an exhausted Reid back to the motel. Before they had a chance to go, Cameron ran back inside when she realized Reid had left his glasses on the table.

Diana was still sitting in the chair and had started back into her book, Cameron bent over the table to grab his glasses and smiled at her, "Don't worry, we're not back so soon, just forgot the glasses."

Diana nodded and as Cameron turned to leave she reached out a hand to stop her, "I really like you."

Cameron stopped in her tracks and sat down for a second, "Diana," Cameron said with a smile, "you did an incredible job with Spencer. He is a good man, and he's learned it from you."

Cameron impulsively wrapped her arms around Diana and gave her a hug, "Thank you for everything."

Cameron stood up and tucked her hair behind her ears, "When we come back I'll bring a different board game, something that won't be so easy for Spencer to win at."

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed, please read and review!**


	13. Her Secret

**A/N: Here's the next chapter in the story and I hope everyone's enjoying it :D Please read and review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

* * *

Taking showers together had never really been part of Reid and Cameron's routine, unless they were running very late for work. But after his accident he couldn't raise his arms to wash his hair. So he not-too-begrudgingly accepted her offer to join him in the shower.

Afterwards, the two of them lay on the bed and clicked through the channels looking for a movie to watch. Reid stopped on The Pursuit of Happyness and looked to Cameron who was nestled beside him.

"I've been thinking about something," He said in a calm voice.

Cameron tilted her head towards him, and her eyes flashed concern, "Is everything okay?"

Spencer squeezed her hand, "Everything's fine with me, thanks to you. But now I think you need me."

Cameron sat up straight and rubbed his leg, "What are you talking about?"

Reid's face showed signs of sadness, "I know—I… can just tell that you're unhappy."

Cameron smiled, "How could I be unhappy when I have you?"

"Cameron," Reid said, urging her to be serious "Sometimes you talk in your sleep, you keep apologizing to Liam."

Cameron's face paled and she quickly looked away, but Reid lifted her chin back up and reestablished eye contact with her, "It is going to be hard for you to ever rest until you face him." He eyed her carefully, "You are too good a person to keep punishing yourself like this. You don't deserve to feel this sad, and I don't want to feel like you need to hide it from me."

Cameron felt liked she'd been punched in the stomach, all her energy had been drained. But she knew better then to run, so she took a deep breath and prepared to tell him the truth.

As for Reid, it had been killing him to see her like this. She didn't say anything to him but he could read her so well by now. He could tell from the exhaustion, the look in her eyes, that she had been hit with a wave of guilt or remorse or something.

He remembered when he first started to notice, he couldn't figure out what had consumed her. He thought, _If it's about Connor she would talk to me about it. _He was the first one she told about her son and they talked about him often. _But this time it is different, and she isn't talking at all._

Cameron rubbed her face and looked at him pathetically, "I— just can't stop worrying about Liam. I feel like I failed him… as a friend. When Connor died I didn't talk about it, and what's worse is that I didn't let him talk about it either, I couldn't handle it… I just wanted to forget."

Reid processed sympathetically, "Cameron, you were traumatized by what happened. I'm sure he understands that you needed time."

Cameron shook her head on the verge of tears, "No, because **he** tried! He tried to be there for me and I wasn't there for him." Her voice broke off slightly, "And now I'm afraid that… that he found another way to deal."

Reid leaned in closely, "Why? Have you heard from him, or did one of his friends tell you that he's using?"

Cameron sighed, "No. But I just feel like— he wouldn't know what to do. Liam, he was never good with handling his emotions, and it struck me that without support, without… without someone to help him— he would try to get away from it all."

With the knowledge of her specific fear, Reid had an idea of why this had happened all of a sudden, "That's why you blew on that detective, over how he treated drug addicts?"

Cameron shrugged, "I don't know— maybe. It just reminded me of how people used to look at Liam, and I understand that it's a disease and he was… he couldn't help it. He was recovering, and I just left him." Cameron continued to fight off tears.

Spencer gave her arm a squeeze, "You were trying to protect yourself, you needed to handle your grief your way, and you couldn't deal with him."

"I should have been—"

Reid cut her off, "You don't always have to be the strongest one." He thought for a moment, "But, you feel stronger now and I think I know what you want to do, even if you don't." She looked at him, slightly confused, and he continued, "You should go talk to him."

Cameron began to shake her head but he went on, "It's like a five hour drive. Cameron, you guys have a bond, he's one of your best friends. You need to make sure he's okay, because that's who you are."

A few tears slipped out of her eyes and Reid brushed them away, then touched her cheek tenderly. She gently rested her head against his chest and gave herself a few minutes before she tried to speak.

"Would you come with me? You don't have to come in… or I could go in first and then maybe, if he's okay, he'll want to meet you?" She looked at him with those eyes and the faintest resistance melted away.

He took her hand and guided her closer to him, " Of course."


	14. Facing the Music

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, and short chapter. Anyways... enjoy :D**

* * *

The following morning, after a somewhat sleepless night, Cameron began to worry that a whopping ten hour drive – there and back – wasn't good for Reid in his condition.

"Stop worrying about it, as long as I can get out and move around every now and then, I'll be fine. It's just sitting in car, you're just overextending your fear and guilt about today onto me." Reid explained gently.

"Damn profilers," Cameron mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?" Reid teased, raising an eyebrow.

Cameron sighed as she continued to stair intensely into her cup of coffee, as if it was a rich brown well that held the answers she was looking for. She had slept worse then she usually did, and even though she knew no one was forcing her into this, she felt like she might be sick. She pushed her hair over her shoulder and leaned across the table to Reid, "I know you're right. I need to deal with this, but I can't do that until I make it there. So my fretting is just going to drive you crazy for five hours, and I'm sorry. Okay?"

With a little effort, Reid also leaned forwards, "Okay. But don't be sorry. What you're feeling, is completely justified. I'm not that concerned about going crazy. I just want you to do whatever you have to in order to feel better."

Cameron tensed a little, "If he… is using again, I don't know that I'll ever be able to forgive myself."

"It's probably best that you not picture him in the worst possible scenario. It will make you crazy if you keep making predictions." Reid paused and reached out to grab her hand, "If we leave now, you'll have your answer in five hours."

Less then half and hour away from Liam's California home, Cameron began trying to mentally rehearse what she was going to say. Because she was so bad with confrontation, this was something she always tried to do. Of course in a real face to face conversation, she almost always lost track of her plan and let the conversation run wild. In reality, the script was just a jumping off point.

Reid interrupted her silent fretting once again, trying to get her to think about something else, "I was wondering… what do you think about getting married in my hometown. It's just that… I really want Mom to be there, but she won't get on a plane. Plus, it will be closer for you sisters. And it will have character, and it's not like Elvis will have to officiate or anything like that. It could be at a regular church, or wherever you want it to be." He stopped, half expecting her to be upset that he added one more thing to the list of worries she had brewing.

Cameron's smile beamed and her eyes were dancing behind her sunglasses, "Spence, I think a Vegas wedding is a great idea."

Reid smiled hugely, "Are you sure?"

Cameron nodded, "I thought it might be apropos to get married in one of our hometowns. Your mom needs to be there, so it should be yours." She shrugged with a smile, "Besides, who in their right mind doesn't love Las Vegas?"

So it was decided and for the rest of the drive, Reid used that to keep Cameron's mind in a good place. As they started to get closer to the house, Cameron's face paled dramatically and her hands started to shake.

Reid reached over and put his hand on her knee, "Are you okay?"

She shook her head, but her mouth was too dry to speak, so Reid spoke again "You're going to get through this. I'll be in the car, so if you need me, just come and get me."

Cameron took a deep breath and tried to slow her heart rate and stop the quivering in her stomach. _Spencer's here with me, I can handle this. _"I wish I hadn't waited so long to see him."

"You needed time to grieve, and now it's time for you to do what you need to do."

Cameron nodded and stepped out of the car, as she walked up the driveway she noticed that the walk felt like a mile. She looked back at Reid one last time and rung the door bell, promptly sticking her hands in her back pockets. She closed her eyes and waited until she heard the squeak of the door opening. Her blue eyes popped open and she stared widely at Liam.

"Hi."

* * *

**A/N: Expect update soon.**


	15. End of Loss

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

**A/N: Please enjoy and continue to read and review.**

* * *

Standing on his front step was the one person he never expected to see there again. After she ran off without a word that one morning, two weeks after his son's death, he assumed that she was done with him. For his part, he decided it was time to accept it and to move on, she made her choice and he made his.

However as she stood there it appeared she hadn't made a choice at all, but he still stood by his. Months had passed and he felt like he was staring at a stranger, but that feeling didn't last. On second glance, he saw that she hadn't really changed a lick, and with a heavy heart he looked at her blue eyes, the same ones that his son had. An ever-changing blue that molded to their mood and he was hit with a wave of grief.

On Cameron's end she saw in Liam every other feature that her son had inherited from them; the nose and face, the hair and the ears. Part of her remembered that this was part of the reason it was exhausting to be around him. Despite how unique Connor's personality was, every now and then a gesture, a look made her think: _God, is he Liam's son or what?_ And when he was gone, those looks from Liam made her heart ache.

Spencer Reid sat in the car, watching anxiously as the woman he loved stood on the step of her only other love. It seemed as if she'd been standing like that for hours. Finally Liam moved out of the doorway and she followed him inside. Spencer took a deep breath, he was becoming increasingly worried about what was about to unfold.

He knew what Cameron's biggest fear was, and he knew what his own was: that whatever Cameron loved about Liam might resurface in this time of trouble. It was only a miniscule fear, but it was there. He was smart and it had certainly occurred to him that there was a common thread that Liam and himself shared. In fact, from what he gathered, the two were complete opposites aside from the struggles with drug addiction. This knowledge could launch him into a session of doubt. His study of human behaviour led him to wonder if it was part of Cameron's pathology to assign herself to rescuing those in need, specifically those who the rest of society saw as criminals rather then patients. He also wondered, though he hated himself for doing so, if it was also part of her pathology to leave when things weren't working out. Or perhaps it was pure biology, she left Liam because she didn't want to raise her baby around a drug addict. Would she ever leave him in fear of raising their child around a schizophrenic? He shook the thought from his mind and gently reclined his seat, his chest and stomach ached… the drive was pretty much agony and once he had himself in a more comfortable position he accidently fell asleep.

* * *

Liam was bold and as a result, hadn't broken eye contact yet. After they sat in silence for a while he ventured a few words, "Are you here to see me or Paul?" Paul was the drummer in his band and his roommate. "Because if I recall you always found him annoying." Before she could answer he continued, "I was going to ask if you got that leaky showerhead fixed yet. But on account of how quick you got out of here to go back to Jersey I'm expect the house is in tiptop condition." He said coldly.

Cameron calmly shrugged, "I sold the house Liam." He returned to his silence so she continued, "I really need to talk to you, I don't want you to be mad."

"You always hated the idea that anyone could possibly be mad at _you_."

She tried not to let on that his words were hurting him, "I'm sorry I went away for so long."

"You sorry you left in the first place?"

"Yes… and no—I'm sorry I left you but I didn't see another way. I was in bad shape, I couldn't be there for you because I was stalled. I'm so sorry that you had to be alone."

"You're back, so I assume you're doing better?" He felt a sudden stab of concern for her.

"I'm finally making progress, but I came to see you, I came to see if you're okay."

Liam leaned forwards onto his elbows, "It's been months, and I tried to grieve when it happened. There is nothing to worry about anymore. Every now and then I feel sick I miss him so much and I think about him everyday. But I've made my peace so to speak."

Cameron eyes fogged up slightly, "Please don't hate me for what I'm about to ask you, but I just want to come out and say it, have you been taking anything to get through…this?"

"Cameron, what the hell?"

"I just know what's happened to you in the past when things fell apart and I just—

He jumped up, "Are you serious!? That's what you think of me?" His southern accent deepened when he yelled. "You think I'd start doing that shit again? I'm only alive _because_ of Connor and you think I'd dishonour his memory like that?"

Cameron got up and sat beside him on the sofa, "I didn't _think_ I just worried about you, I needed to make sure that you were okay."

Liam nodded, "And if you hadn't been worried, would you have stayed away? I just never would have talked to you again?"

"I don't know when I would have come back. I'm not that brave, I guess that's been made clear." She shook her head, "I hate that I hurt you, I'm sorry that what I needed to do was the opposite of what you needed."

"You can't always do what is best for everyone else, I've coped alright here, I've got my music, my friends. I did miss one friend though." He had lowered his voice considerably.

"How mad are you? I need to know."

"I was very mad, but I can kind of feel it fading, you know?. I wanted to be your friend, because there was a while when we were together that I was not a friend to you, but then when we had Connor, it was like you were my best friend. I had you as a girlfriend, and as the mother of my child and I lost them both. And when I lost you as a friend—" Liam's eyes fogged up, he had never been shy about anger, happiness or sadness. "I almost lost you again, but this time it wasn't even my fault."

Cameron squeezed him into a tight hug, "I'm always going to be your friend, even when I'm mad or not around, I'll still be your friend."

"Maybe we could try to not be mad then, it would make it easier." He offered.

Cameron smiled through her tears, "You got it."

Comfortable silence enveloped them until Liam looked down and caught a glimpse of her hand, "Well, well I can't believe it Miss Cameron Mansfield _finally_ got another boyfriend. It's about time."

Cameron twitched slightly, she worried that it seemed inappropriate to be dating someone, but Liam just stared at her with big eyes, "Well?"

Cameron cleared her throat, "How'd you like to make another friend?"

* * *

**A/N: Hope this chapter was enjoyable... I hope I can update soon :D**


	16. Introduction, Stories and Friendship

**A/N: Here ya go! And a big thanks to all of you who've been reading and reviewing. Please continue to do so and as always feedback and suggestions are always appreciated :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield and other OC.**

* * *

Cameron opened the car door and roused Reid to alertness, "Hey sleepyhead."

He sat up slowly, "I—I fell asleep. Are you okay?"

Cameron smiled, "I think I'm okay." She grabbed his hand and crouched outside the car to help him out. "Come on inside."

Reid was taken aback, "Are you sure? If you want to spend some more time in there that's fine, I can wait in the car."

"You should get out of the car and stretch and I want you to meet my friend Liam." Cameron said eagerly.

As Reid slowly limped out of the car her took her other hand and gave her a quizzical look, "Was he angry?"

Cameron nodded, "Yeah, at first. And maybe he still is a little, but he seems happy and healthy and it's been so long since we've seen each other, I think he'll forgive me."

Cameron opened the door to the house and Spencer followed her into the kitchen were Liam was preparing coffee. Cameron cleared her throat and walked up to Liam, "Okay, I'd like you to meet my fiancé Spencer. Spence, this is Liam."

Reid tried to reach out and shake Liam's hand, causing him to wince. Cameron placed her hand on his arm, "Maybe just wave sweetheart."

Liam smiled crookedly, "You alright there man?"

Reid nodded, "Hmm, fine, I just had a little car accident the other day."

"Well hell, you seem in pretty good shape." Liam mused.

"Yeah I was extremely lucky," Spencer paused, "Did you know that in America someone dies in a car accident every 13 minutes?"

Liam widened his eyes, "No, can't say that I did."

"Well, I wasn't doing anything reckless, it was just a regular accident. I'm usually a really good driver."

Liam laughed, "Don't worry I believe you, I didn't figure you for a NASCAR driver."

Reid smiled nervously, "Anyways…. It's nice to meet you."

Liam winked, "Same to you. Now I was just fixin' us come coffee. What do you say we go sit down?"

Cameron and Reid followed them into the living room, and as the three of them gathered around the coffee table didn't feel tense, it felt new, but it felt like something that they might grow into. Reid took notice of the musical accoutrements of the room, he cleared his throat, "You're a musician right?" He gestured around the room, "Which one of these do you play?"

"Well professionally I'm a bassist. But I can play that piano and guitar, if you want to call it 'playing'."

Cameron shook her head, "Don't listen to him, he's very good. He's a pretty quick learner too."

Liam smiled bashfully, "So, ah, Spencer what do you do to pass the time?"

Reid gestured to Cameron, "I work with Cameron."

"At the hospital, you a doc?"

Reid looked to Cameron for help, and Cameron spoke, "Liam I hadn't mentioned that I left the hospital. I moved out to Virginia. We both work for the FBI."

"Well, I didn't figure either of you as cops."

Cameron smiled, "It's mostly book-work."

Spencer sat back a little, "Yeah, more or less." Cameron had enlightened Spencer to the fact that people were often uncomfortable with the nature of his job, so he changed the conversation, "Liam, where did you grow up?"

"South Carolina, down in Raleigh. And yourself?"

"I'm from Las Vegas, we just drove down from there actually."

"From the looks of you I'd say the traffic is as bad in Vegas as it is here in LA." Liam glanced at the clock, "Oh man, I'm getting hungry, how about I order us something to eat, what do ya'll feel like?"

They both shrugged, "You're the one who knows all the good places, why don't you choose?"

Liam nodded and shuffled through a stack of menus by the phone, "How about Thai?"

* * *

A few hours later the three of them were chatting like old friends in the living room. Cameron stood up and gathered the plates, "I'm just going to give these a rinse, and I have to make a quick call. I'll just be a few minutes."

As they watched her disappear into the kitchen they returned to their conversation. Liam sat up and cracked his back, "You seem like a good guy, and if Cameron's treats you as kindly as she treated me, you're also a very lucky guy."

Spencer raised his eyebrows, "Is that really how you feel? I mean… after everything, and you still consider her—"

"Well first off, I'm certainly not in love with her anymore of that's what you're getting at." He ran his hands through his short hair, "And everything that happened… we both had our parts in. I didn't think I could hold it against her for long. Besides, she has more foundation to build a grudge on than I do."

Spencer interjected quickly, "She doesn't, she still really likes you, she says that you were a great friend." Spencer paused considering the appropriateness of his next comment, "She also told me that you were a great father, couldn't have cared about your son—Connor any more then you did."

Liam smiled sadly, "If you feel uncomfortable telling me this, that's alright. But, does Cameron talk about Connor sometimes?"

Spencer nodded, "Yes. When she first told me, she could barely get the words out. That was probably caused by the initial trauma, but slowly, she talked about him more and more. She's told be stories about him, acceptance is a big part of the grieving process."

Liam tapped his chin, "Did she ever tell you the story about when he first started to talk?"

Spencer shook his head and Liam started the story, "Well Cameron went away for a week because of work and I hadn't spent too much time all alone with Connor. Anyhow, while she was gone I took him to the beach and he got this really bad rash on his legs." Cameron walked into the room mid-story and sat down beside Reid and smiled. "So I immediately panicked because I thought I accidently fed him something with nuts in it."

"He had a few mild nut-allergies." Cameron interjected.

"By the time she came home the rash was gone, which was a relief. But as soon as she walked in the door Connor ran to her, gave her a big hug and said, "Mama! I gots itchies on my yegs." Liam reenacted the moment perfectly.

Cameron laughed, "It was so cute, and you were so afraid I'd be mad and say you were a bad father."

"I was actually annoyed that Connor ratted me out. But it turns out he had diaper rash that just got irritated by the salt water."

Cameron shrugged, "You were great with Connor either way."

Liam glanced at the clock, "I'd offer to let you two stay the night, but we're having a band meeting in about a half hour and it is not a good environment for recuperation or sleeping."

Cameron shook her head, "Hey don't worry about it, I think we'll just crash in a motel tonight." Cameron and Reid stood up and Liam led them to the front door.

Cameron gave Liam a hug and a kiss on the cheek, Liam smiled, "It was really nice to see you again. You take care of yourself now."

Cameron released him and gave him a serious look, "Same goes for you, and you can always call if you need to talk."

Liam smiled and nodded, then gave Reid a pat on the shoulder, "I like you Spencer. Now you take it easy until you're feeling better."

The threesome exchanged final, satisfied smiles and parted ways. Cameron helped Reid into the car and then sat in the driver's seat. She placed her hand on his leg as he yawned, "Let's get you to the nearest motel so you can get some rest." Reid nodded sleepily and Cameron started the ignition and drove them to a nearly empty motel less then 10 minutes away. She let them into their room and pulled down the covers and helped him get comfortable in bed. As she crawled in beside him she gave him a kiss, "I'm sorry you're so exhausted." He shook his head, "Don't worry about anything, I'm fine."

Cameron snuggled in beside him and stared up at the ceiling for a few seconds. "Thank you so much for getting me to do this, and thank you for coming with me, for making me stronger." She turned slightly to look at him, but he had been claimed by sleep.

She smiled and simply whispered into his ear, "I love you." She knew he already knew that, but she just wanted to remind him.


	17. The Heat of Vegas

**A/N: Here's my newest chapter, I hope people are still enjoying and that they will continue to read and review!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

* * *

That morning, after their adventure to LA, Reid and Cameron woke up later then normally. Cameron stretched her arms and patted Reid's head gently, "Hey there, how'd you sleep?"

Reid rubbed his eyes, "Great. I felt like I got knocked out, I didn't hear a single thing all night."

"Yeah, I didn't hear much last night either." Cameron watched as Reid winced slightly, "You okay there?"

Reid shrugged, "I'm just really stiff."

Cameron jutted out her lower lip slightly and rubbed his shoulders, "Well what do you say we get you into a hot shower?"

Reid smiled bashfully, "This is really, really unfair. I just wanted you to know that."

Cameron got up and grabbed his hands, gently hoisting him off the bed, "If it makes you feel any better, I'm being patient too."

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Afterwards, the two of them headed to the car, preparing to make the drive back to Vegas. Cameron wrinkled her nose, "Well at least we'll be back in time for dinner. Are you sure you feel up to heading back today?"

Reid nodded slowly and carefully lowered himself into the car. Cameron grinned, "Would you look at that?" She bent down to give him a kiss, "Someone's making leaps and bounds with his recovery."

Reid smiled, "I've got a really good incentive right in front of me."

When they returned to Las Vegas Cameron insisted that they go to the motel so Reid could rest before dinner. As Reid lay down on the bed he protested, "Five minutes ago you said you were starving, why don't we go get something to eat?"

Cameron dug through her purse, "Just lay down for an hour and then I promise we will go get some dinner." Upon retrieving her phone she headed for the door, "I need to make a quick call, I won't be long."

Cameron quietly shut the door and called into information, attempting to make dinner plans for that night. While she was on the phone she was struck with an idea that she knew Reid would love. She obtained the number from information and placed her call. Satisfied with herself she ended the call and quickly placed another one. Seated on the motel steps she waited for Hotch to pick up his cell phone.

"Hotchner," his deep, clear voice resonated on the other end. He had been working like crazy on their latest case in Boston.

"Hey Aaron, it's me Cameron. I just wanted to see how everything's going back at work."

"Hi Cameron, we're working out of the Boston PD right now. Three women have been kidnapped and two of their bodies have already been found."

"Oh god, do you need any help?"

"I could use all the help I can get. Let's see, all three of the women went missing from three different bars in the Boston area. We've interviewed all the men who people remembered the women talking too, they all checked out." Hotch paused and Cameron heard him sigh loudly, "If you were out, at a bar, and had turned down the overtures of every guy who approached you; what would a guy have to do or say to make you leave with him?"

Cameron thought for a moment, closing her eyes and running her fingers through her long hair, "Maybe he appealed to their sympathetic sides. You could be looking for a shyer, quieter guy. If they turned down the forward guys, maybe they wanted to be the aggressor—"

"Looking for someone timid to approach," Hotch interrupted.

"Right, and he probably played off of that, spinning yarns about being dumped and rejected."

"Good work. I'm going to get everyone to go back over it from this angle and see what turns up. Oh I almost forgot, what kind of shape is Reid in?"

"He's doing better Aaron, he's resting right now, but he's definitely improving."

"Good, good. But I have to let you go now."

"Call me if you need anything else."

"Will do. Talk to you soon."

"Bye bye."

* * *

Cameron and Reid walked at a slow pace down the crowded Las Vegas street, "Cameron we're right on the strip, where exactly are you taking me?" Reid asked with a smile.

"You'll see in a second." She insisted as she guided him towards a building.

Reid, having lived in Vegas and having an exceptional memory knew exactly where they were. "You didn't…"

Cameron nodded with a satisfied smile as she looked around, "Here we are: Home of the Great Santini!" As she gestured wildly with her arms, Reid slid one of his around her waist. "This show is almost always sold out, I'm not sure we'll get tickets."

"Not to worry, I called while you were asleep, the host said he'd hold them for us."

Reid smiled inwardly, he had seen Cameron's charm and friendliness work magic on people before, and its effectiveness over the phone proved that it was more then just her looks that made people eager to please her. Cameron clasped his hand from around her waist, "Dinner and a magic show. Now you're stomach is rumbling so I know you're hungry, but I can't remember if you like magic shows?"

Reid laughed and planted a kiss on the top of her head, "I can't believe you did this…" He was lost for words, "This is so incredibly sweet of you."

Cameron perched slightly on her toes and kissed his lips very softly, "Trust me, you deserve this."

The host let them into the theatre immediately and the found their way to their seats, which were magically among the best in the house. The theatre was lavish and outfitted with dark colours and medieval lighting, the perfect atmosphere for a night of magic. Reid sat down beside Cameron and looked at the people filling the room, "This place is incredible, look at how mysterious everything looks."

Cameron was already perusing the menu, "Look how delicious everything looks!"

"Aww, I forgot how hungry you were. Hopefully they'll let us order soon… Hey I wonder if he'll make someone's dinner disappear!"

"As some cruel joke? Well it better not be mine." Cameron commented.

Reid laughed, "Don't worry it will take 3 weeks before you die of starvation. Even a terrible magician could make it reappear by then."

Cameron took his hand, "Don't take this the wrong way but if he makes my fiancé disappear then I can have two meals!"

Reid's eyes lit up, "You'd miss me?"

Cameron squeezed his hand tightly, "Maybe a little bit."

Halfway through the meal the show was really heating up, the show wasn't glitzy and glamourous, he wasn't making elephants disappear. In fact the tricks were old-timey, water escapes and things that might seem outdated.

But the audience was loving it, Reid thought it was just about the most remarkable thing he'd ever seen and Cameron was particularly amazed by the showmanship of the magician.

Every now and then the magician caught a glimpse of Cameron and Reid, completely enamourned by the show. He approached them in his grandiose exuberant way, they looked up at him. He thrust his hands towards him, "Would you and your lovely young lady like to assist me with this next trick?"

They looked at the other and nodded, immediately the Great Santini fabricated a deck of ancient looking cards from thin air and asked Reid to pick one. Upon doing so he turned his attention to Cameron, "Young lady, if you could please grab the candle off your table and could the two of you please rise so the audience could bear witness to your magic!!!"

They both stood up and faced the audience as the magician grabbed their water pitcher off the table. "Now sir, could you please wave your card into the flame until in catches!"

Cameron held the candle steady and Reid set their card on fire.

"Now! Quickly into the pitcher!"

Reid tossed the card into the water and instantly smoked billowed out from the pitcher. When it cleared both the card and the water had vanished.

The audience erupted with applause and the magician boomed, "Sir, in the green tie! Could you please fish out the card from the bottom of the pitcher."

A stunned man in the back of the room rolled up his sleeve and fished out a slightly singed seven of hearts from his pitcher.

Cameron squealed and squeezed Reid's hand, "That was our card!"

The audience cheered wildly for the magician and with a "thanks" and a flourish he returned to the stage.

Reid had trouble focusing on the rest of the show during the next few tricks his eye went to Cameron who's smile was aglow, the same way it was then he took her to the fireworks.

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After the show, the two walked towards the car with hands intertwined. Cameron looked up at him, "Did you like the show?"

He smiled, "I loved it."

"Me too. It was the most incredible thing I've ever seen."

Reid stopped dead, "You're the most incredible thing _I've _ever seen."

Cameron looked at him quizzically and he shook his head, "It seems like a strange, perhaps even ostentatious thing to say but I mean it." Reid blushed deeply before he continued, "It's you… I just love you so much."

Cameron smiled, "I love you too, Spence." She turned to hug him gently, "Are you by any chance, angling to get me to marry you tonight?"

Reid looked taken aback, "Oh no! I— just… I—"

"I'm only teasing. But honestly you are so wonderfully sweet I'd marry you right now."

Spencer looked at her sheepishly and remained silent. "Spence when you proposed, you said you 'didn't want to wait'. That was the kindest thing anyone's ever said to me and if you still don't want to wait, we don't have to. I'd marry you today or tomorrow. Whenever you want. I'm—"

"All in?" Spencer finished.

"It is Vegas baby." Cameron added with a coy wink. "We could get ask the Great Santini to do it!"

The excitment of the show, the love between them, and the heat of Vegas seemed to light a fire under them. As they stood facing each other on the busy Las Vegas strip time was standing still. After what felt like a while Reid finally spoke, "You know that we should wait."

Cameron felt a very slight flicker of disappointment, "Yeah, you're right. Umm, just out of curiosity, why?"

"Our families and friends should be with us, don't you think?" Cameron nodded. "Besides it's a lesson in delayed gratification." Reid added purposefully.

"We've been practicing that a lot lately." Cameron mused, Reid looked at her confused.

Cameron winked sultrily, "You know what I'm talking about."

Reid blushed again and put his arm around her, "Oh…I completely forgot about that."

She pretend to pull away in mock annoyance, "Quiet you."

They knew that it didn't matter when or where they did it, they would never regret it. They headed back to the motel, satisfied with their "almost" impulsive selves, and knowing that they almost get married in Vegas, by a magician.


	18. No Harm in Looking

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

* * *

"There's no harm in looking you know?" Reid suggested as he paused _Into the Wild_.

Cameron finished her bite of French fries before responding, "What are you talking about Spence?"

It was late in the evening, they were eating some takeout from a burger joint, watching a movie, trying to relax after a day visiting the aquarium. It took almost the whole day to see the place because Cameron kept insisting Reid sit down and rest, and have something to drink.

"I know we avoided the temptation to elope, but I figured that while we're here I was thinking we could look for a place to get married." He paused for a second, "Because once we get back to work, the only way we'll be able to come back is either for a case or the actual wedding."

Cameron smiled thoughtfully, "That's a good point baby, if you're up to it, we could go look at places tomorrow." He nodded in agreement and she continued, "Early in the day because you've got your checkup back at the hospital at three."

"I wonder if I'll get the okay to fly home." Reid mused aloud.

Cameron shrugged, "Maybe. Probably. But once we get home it'll still be a little while before you're allowed back at work. But at least I'll be able to go back and still be close in case you need anything."

"You don't need to rub it in, plus to the team it probably seems like you were there the whole time, since you've been giving them ideas over the phone." Reid said with a knowing look.

"I wasn't hiding it or anything. I told you what they told me."

Reid raised his eyebrows, "Yes and you also make sure to make the phone calls when I'm out of ear shot."

Cameron held up her hands, "I didn't want to stress you out. Besides, if it had been something that they absolutely need you for, I would have told you."

"Your protectiveness is an interesting part of your pathology." He pointed out, causing her face to break into a mock-pout. "Come on, you know that I love it. It's very endearing. Thank you, for taking such good care of me."

Cameron smiled and winked, "I'm collecting points though, you're going to owe me big time."

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The following morning Cameron and Reid drove from one destination to the next, looking for a respectable spot for their wedding. Naturally, they hit up the usual wedding chapels and banquet halls. Unfortunately none of them really struck a cord with them, but they were still looking.

"In my mind," Cameron started as she turned down a scenic street, "we should be able to get married anywhere and still be happy, right?"

Reid shrugged, "I'm sure we could. But there's no harm in making it special. We could have a traditional church wedding or we could parachute out of a plane, the end result is the same. But one of them is going to feel special; you're special so you deserve a special wedding."

Cameron smiled to herself, "I think you're right, and it seems like you're more in tune with things then me, so let me know when something feels special."

Reid nodded, "Will do."

As the car continued down the scenic road, Reid slowly straightens his back and gestures out the window, "That's a really nice looking garden."

Keeping an eye on the road, Cameron followed his gaze, "Yeah, look at it; it looks huge."

Reid scanned his brain for the name, "It's the Las Vegas Cactus Gardens." He continued to peer out the window, "Why don't we stop and take a look around?"

Cameron strummed her fingers on the steering wheel while looking for the entrance. When she stopped in the small parking lot, she and Reid got out and stood beside the car. Reid smiled and took her hand, "Looks special."

The lady who cared for the garden led Reid and Cameron through the flowery paths, launching into stories about the flowers and how many different types OF flora existed there.

Cameron smiled as Nancy finished the tour and gave them a few minutes to discuss amongst themselves. Reid gently pulled her closer to him, "What do you think?"

Cameron took a deep breath, "I think it's beautiful. Like a calm, green paradise. I mean, it seems special, right?"

Reid nodded, "Looks special to me."

Cameron's blue eyes lit up, "I think we should do it here—"

"In eight months." Reid finished. Cameron looked up at him curiously. "The next vacation is in eight months."

Cameron laughed, "We must have the only team that needs everyone to take their vacation at the same time. I guess it's because we know that when there's a case, no matter who's on vacation, they won't be able to stay away."

He smiled and shook his head, "You realize that in the past week, you've reinforced the reason for the arrangement."

A laughing Cameron replied, "I know, I know." She took him gently by the arm and they headed back towards the Nancy, the tour guide that showed them around the garden.

Nancy looked up from her reservation book, "My, my, the two of you look like something out of a book." Cameron and Reid both simultaneously blushed, but Nancy kept going, "Honestly, and imagine the wedding! I'll bet if we put your picture up we would be double booking reservations from people hoping to look as in love as you two." Cameron smiled politely, "That's very sweet of you—"

Nancy gasped, "Oh, how silly of me, getting ahead of myself like that. Well, what are you guys thinking?"

Cameron looked at Reid, garnering a shy smiled from him. She returned her gaze to Nancy, "Do you have a space available for say, June 16th?"

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June 16th, they had chosen a date, exactly eight months from today. They felt satisfied and comfortable with the date. Seating space wasn't that important, they already knew exactly who they wanted to invite. And the list wasn't very long at all: the team, Reid's mom, Cameron's sisters. Simply the people they loved the most, and of course each other.

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Cameron supported Reid's injured side as she gently helped him onto the table in his surgeon's office. Cameron stood in front of him as he sat on the table; gazing into his eyes she felt her own well-up. Reid grabbed her hands that she had rested in his lap, and his eyes widened with concern, "What's the matter?"

Cameron shook her head and smiled sheepishly, "I know you don't remember coming in here a week ago, but I do." Cameron took a deep breath, "I hated myself for fighting with you and I was terrified of coming here, of finding out what condition you were in. If it wasn't for Hotch…" Cameron trailed off.

He pulled her head gently in to his chest and stroked her hair, "Shh, I know, I know." Reid was torn between feeling amazed that someone could love him _that much,_ and feeling guilty that something he had done, indirect as it was, had caused her so much anxiety, had brought up horrifying memories of her son's illness. He planted a kiss on the top of her head, he was sure of how much he loved her. He learned that to focus on those feelings, they were more important then the negative things that were sprinkled, generously at times, throughout life.

Dr. Paddige entered his office and cleared his throat, causing Cameron and Reid to pull away from one another, "Well Dr. Reid, how is your recovery going?'

Reid's alertness rose, "Good, great. I'm feeling… much better."

Dr. Paddige nodded as her inspected Reid's pupils, "I see you've gotten some colour back in your cheeks. That's a good sign. You as well Ms. Mansfield, how are you feeling my dear?'

"I'm fine Doctor, I'm so happy that Spence is going to be okay. Thank you again." Cameron paused for a moment, slightly embarrassed, "And I'm sorry if I seemed crazy last week, I'm not normally like that I was just scared. I'm didn't mean to—"

Dr. Paddige held up his hand, "Trust me, I've seen if before. That's how a loving spouse or partner would act in a situation like this."

Cameron nodded and breathed a sigh as relief as Dr. Paddige began his examination. Reid sat still as the doctor took his blood pressure, temperature, and listened to his heart. "Sound's perfect." He commented as he instructed Reid to lie back on the table and began to feel how his ribs were healing. "How does it feel when you laugh or breath?"

"Fine." Reid answered, which caused Paddige to raise an eyebrow.

Reid capitulated, "Sore."

Paddige nodded, "It will be a little while before that heals. The stitches on your chest look good. The scan results of you heart look much better, but I still want you to take it easy. Have you been getting lots of rest?"

Reid gave a slight laugh and gestured to Cameron, "How could I do anything else?"

Paddige chuckled and nodded in agreement, "Now son, you should be counting yourself lucky."

Reid grew serious, "I am… and she's been great."

Paddige closed the file and looked at the couple sitting in his office eager to relay the news, "Well, it looks like the two of you are ready to go back to Virginia."


	19. Plans to Fly

**A/N: Just a short transitional chapter, enjoy! I also had to re-upload this chapter like 4 times because the site wasn't working right.**

**Disclaimer : I don't own Criminal Minds CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

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Reid and Cameron left Dr. Paddige's office with a mixture of feelings, Reid was thrilled and relieved to be able to go home, and in a week or so, back to work. On the other hand, Cameron was thrilled about Reid's steady recovery, but was also anxious about taking him so far away from his surgeon, and to a lesser extent, not being able to watch over him once they get back to Virginia.

"Cameron," Reid said from his sprawled position on their hotel bed, "are you getting hungry? It's almost 8 o'clock. I'm hungry."

Cameron turned her attention away from her laptop and looked over her shoulder at him, "Oh baby, you sound so flat. Is somebody getting bored?"

Reid slowly propped himself up, "Yes. I am bored. And I'm hurgry. I'm bored, hungry and…"

Cameron laughed, "And something else starting with an H?"

Cameron couldn't see it, but Reid flushed a deep red. She didn't wait for her poor fiancé to reply to her bold wit, rather she coyly changed the subject, "Hmmm, I can get us a flight for tomorrow at 11:45 am. How's that sound?"

Reid cleared his throat, "That uh—that sounds fine. Thanks Cam."

"I need my credit card… is my purse by you?"

"Yeah it's on the floor by the bed. I'll grab—"

Cameron hoped up from her chair, "Nuh-uh! You're going to agitate your injuries if you don't watch all that twisting and bending." She plopped her purse on the bed and fetched her credit card. She casually eyed his pink cheeks and smiled, "You are adorable."

Reid donned a half smile-half pout, "**You** are a tease."

Cameron batted her eyelashes, "Who me? I'm just having a little fun. And you can't fault my good judgment."

Reid shook his head, "Well Dr. Paddige didn't say we couldn't do anything and he's a doctor. Let's go with his good judgement."

Cameron giggled, "Right, but had we asked him I'm sure he would have said 'If you can't laugh or breath without chest pain, perhaps _vigorous activity_, is not what's best for you'."

Reid squinted at her dubiously, which caused her to tease, "Besides, it would be me, not Dr. Paddige you'd be having sex with, right? So by all accounts it's our decision and I vote no, so it's not unanimous."

Reid knew she was playing and he joined it, "And we call Hotch a drill sergeant," he added under his breath.

Cameron grinned, "You're just going to have to get used to the fact you're mine Spencer Reid, and what I say goes!" She said with a mock sternness.

Reid gave a tight laugh, "You are just…"

Cameron sat cross-legged on the bed beside him and at full attention, "Just what?"

Reid gave her knee a shy squeeze and after pause responded, "…precious."

Cameron tilted her head to the side and gave him a feather-soft kiss, "You know… you could let me take care of you." The subtle, sultry tone in her voice alerted him that she didn't mean it in her typical nurturing way.

Reid managed to squeak out a reply, "I don't think so. No, no. I think we should wait. It will be better when we both can—" He was too embarrassed to finish the sentence.

Cameron stretched out beside him on the bed and nodded, "If you're sure. But I'd be more then happy to." Cameron remembered that while Reid _enjoyed_ that particular activity, he was more satisfied during actual lovemaking. Cameron suspected it was a manifestation of his issues with people "doing" things for him. Not to mention, it was the best way to be engaged with her, simply put: it _should_ take two.

Reid's stomach started to growl and Cameron sat up, "Well I suppose the least we could do is eat. You get to choose, just dig my phone out of my purse for me while I book our flight."

Cameron strolled back over to the teeny motel desk and began entering their information into the travel site.

Reid looked up from the phone, "Cameron, it says you have a message."

"Could you check it for me, it might be important."

Reid listened to a strained voice on the other end and slowly got off the bed and walked over to Cameron, "It sounds important." He restarted the message for her, "You have to hear this."

"_Cam—Cameron. My name is Justin… you probably don't remember me. I saw you in Sarasota. And you uh—gave me an apple and then this number. I need help—I really need… someone's help and you're the only one… who's there. __I can't hold the money I get so… please. Because I probably won't be able to call again." _Click. The call ended like that. Cameron took a deep breath and Reid put the phone down.

"Spence, I need you to be honest about how you're feeling. Do you think you can handle two plane rides?" He knew she was referring to they would have to take to Sarasota so she could help Justin and finally the one back home.

Reid nodded and carefully bent to kiss her head, "Go ahead and book both flights."

* * *

**A/N: More on this turn to come!**


	20. Lost and Found

**A/N: Here is the next chapter in the story, I really hope everyone is enjoying it and still finding it worthwhile.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

* * *

Late that night Reid and Cameron caught a red-eye flight and after switching planes at LAX, they landed in Sarasota at 7am. Cameron was relieved that Reid slept through most of the plane ride and seemed well-rested when they climbed into their rental car early that morning.

Cameron brushed her hair off her face, it was unduly hot for so early in the day. She quickly striped off her light blazer and vanquished her concern that her T-shirt and jeans were not the most professional attire.

Reid looked out the window as he scanned the map of the area he had imprinted in his brain from their last visit to the city, "How are we supposed to find him? He didn't tell us where he'd be in his message."

Cameron frowned, "Unfortunate as it is, I happen to be experienced at finding addicts. So_ fortunately_ I know whereabouts to look. Best bet is to start downtown…" Cameron quickly glanced at Reid.

"Get off at the next exit, and take the immediate left."

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Cameron and Reid walked around downtown, checking the conspicuous people huddled by the sidewalk, looking in alleyways and dive coffee shops. After careful inspection Cameron turned to Reid, "How are you feeling, are you okay to keep walking?"

"Yeah, I feel fine. If we've covered this area, maybe we should head one street over." He paused for a second, "Hey, didn't you meet him at the police station?"

Cameron nodded, "Right like one block from it, it was in a seedy-looking part of town. Let's drive down that way and see if we can find him."

Cameron parked the car on a side street and then she and Reid began to search the area for Justin. As they headed down a street, a small park caught Reid's eye. It had metal swings, metal slides and a rusty metal see-saw. Reid squinted in the sunlight and gestured to a figure that was huddled under the slide, "Cameron…"

Cameron directed her gaze and immediately headed in that direction, once she got close enough she saw enough of his face to recognize that it was Justin. Cameron smiled slightly at him and ducked under the slide, kneeling down beside him in his half-alert state.

"Hey Justin. I'm glad you called me."

He wearily looked up at her, "I... I know you, the apple girl. I—I called you and asked for help." She looked down at his bruised arms, and noted how much thinner he'd gotten.

"You're actually here. I can't belie—I don't remember… your name. What is it?"

Cameron examined his eyes carefully, "Cameron. When was the last time you took anything."

"Uh… umm like last— last night or uhh…early this morning." He hugged his chest, "What time is it?"

Reid looked at his watch from the sidelines, "It's eight am."

Justin clearly had no sense of how time had passed, he was confused and from what Cameron could discern, probably just coming down from dose.

She touched his hand, "It's okay, alright? We've got you now." She exchanged a look with Reid, and they silently agreed that it was safe to say he'd used in the part 24 hours.

Cameron guided him out from underneath the slide and locked eyes with him, she could tell he was getting nervous, anxious, like he wasn't ready to call it quits just yet.

She was right, as soon as Justin was out in the open he began to waver, "May—maybe I can meet you guys at the place in like an hour or so. I have some stuff I need, I have to grab my things and…"

Reid shot Cameron a worried look and she smiled calmly and began to slow everything down, "Justin, hear me out okay. What you're doing right now, it isn't coming from you. It's the disease. You know that right? Justin called me, Justin wants to take care of himself. Let's let Justin call the shots, okay?"

His body tensed and released a few times before he responded, "I want to go with you I just need… I'm not ready."

Cameron nodded, "Okay, well let's get you ready. We can help. I think what we need to do first is get some food into you. We're going to take everything really slow, and you make the decisions okay?"

Justin nodded slowly and Reid gestured for him to follow them to the car. Once everyone was seated Cameron turned to Justin and said, "You're in charge, what do you want to eat?"

Justin thought for a moment than slowly answered, "Breakfast."

* * *

With the three of them sitting in a booth eating breakfast at the local diner, conversation was tense. Reid looked up from his coffee, he was uncomfortable, he should be more helpful then this, he'd been there, he should know what to say. But instead he was mute while Cameron struggled to get Justin talking.

Cameron was trying to straighten out Justin's biographical information, he seemed slightly disoriented.

"How old are you Justin?"

"I'm 18."

'How long have you been using opiates?"

"Not that long." He postured.

Cameron nodded skeptically, "Since you were how old?"

"Like uh 16… almost 16."

_Just a kid, _Cameron felt her heart fall.

She tried to keep going, "Why did you start using drugs?"

Justin looked agitated, "I don't know. I just did, I started and then just kept going in going."

Cameron gently kept on the question, already suspecting the answer, "Was it peer pressure, were you self-medicating, did you Mom or Dad use drugs?"

Justin kept perfectly silent and Cameron relented, "Alright, I understand. We don't have to talk about it now. But it **is** part of recovery, and it's important. And before long you'll see why."

Reid mentally nodded his head in agreement, focusing on his experience with the process, the delving into the past; the agonizing over your choices; the meetings that he continued to attend whenever he could. His only ever excuse for not going was a case, and even then, he would go whenever he could get away. Even when he'd just been released from the hospital he went to a meeting almost everyday. Reid hoped that Justin was soaking up everything she was saying to him.

Cameron put down her fork thoughtfully, "Maybe… Justin, if you're comfortable, we could talk about what to expect when you get to treatment?

Justin shrugged weakly and Cameron continued, "Once you're there someone will check you in and go through your things—"

"What things?" He added lightly.

Cameron frowned, "Sorry. Anyways then a doctor's will examine you, ask you more questions about what you've been taking, how much and for how long. Okay?"

He nodded and listened on. "The doctor will oversee the withdrawal and other aspects of your health. There will be group meetings with counselors trained to help you and the other patients. You'll see one of them individually so they can help you—"

A confused Justin held up a thin hand, "Wait. Where are you in all of this?"

Cameron thought for a moment, "People that treat addicts are a small group. I can get you into treatment anywhere, including right here in Sarasota. I'll take you there and talk to your doctor and the program co-coordinator about you. It's all taken care of, you don't have to worry about a thing."

Justin frowned, "I mean, but you gave me **your **number I just thought you would be my counselor. I'd rather you… can't you treat me?"

Cameron mentally cursed herself for not being more clear from the get go, "I can't. I'm sorry, I don't work at the clinic, I don't even live in Sarasota."

"But you said you could get me in anywhere."

Cameron felt horrible and she wished she could handle his treatment, "I can. I mean if you don't want to stay near your home I can arrange to take you somewhere else…"

Justin started nodding before Cameron could finish explaining the circumstances, "Justin, I don't treat patients anymore. I haven't worked in a rehab for a long time. I live in Virginia and I have another job, one that takes up a lot of time."

Justin shook his head, "Nobody else. You're the only one who wants to help me. I'm invisible to everyone else. Two years and no one's seen me."

"No. Justin, that's not reality. I know it's hard to trust people, but I promise the people at this clinic will help you. They just couldn't before." Cameron stood and grabbed her cell phone, "Speaking of which, I need to call them and let them no that we'll be there as soon as you're ready. Okay?" Justin sat, completely silent and she bent to his eye level, "Hey. If you trust me, you can trust them."

Reid and Justin both watched as Cameron strode out of the room. Justin shook his head and crossed his arms. He looked extremely frustrated and Reid sighed, he remembered feeling that way.

He calmly broke his silence, "She's telling you the truth. She wouldn't lie about something important like this."

The exhausted Justin seemed to notice Reid for the first time, "Who are you?"

"My name is Spencer Reid." He clearly didn't seem to grasp the underlying tone of the question.

"What are you doing here? You're not helping anyone."

Reid's face softened, "I've been where you are man. I've been sick, I've gotten worse and eventually better."

"Wait, are you being serious right now?"

"I'm completely serious. Eight months ago I was…" Reid allowed the memory to come to the surface, "I was a completely different person."

"Did she help you?" Justin asked quietly. Reid nodded in response. "Then why can't she help me?"

Reid tapped his leg, "I was a different case. I was highly functional the whole time I was using. She was the first one to confront me about it. She took care of me from my home in the detox phase and helped me get involved with a 12-step once I was able to."

Reid thought about how to reassure him, "I can promise you that she will not lose contact with you. She'll need to talk to you and know about your treatment every step of the way. People who do what she does, they are doing it for **us.** And they can only do so much, because they can't treat us if we don't want to get better. Do you know what a big step you've made when you reached out for her help? You should be proud of yourself." Justin almost managed to slip into a half-smile.

As Cameron watched from the other side of the diner she had to smile. Reid was in fine-form this morning. He was in touch with someone, he was engaged and he was even more kind then he normally was. She was most definitely proud of both of them.

As Cameron closed her phone and sat back down at the table, Justin was nodding in agreement with everything Reid said.

Reid finished his last words of encouragement, "At some point in treatment, you're going to have to face things from your past that are hard to talk about and even harder to feel. Promise yourself that you'll be as strong as we know you are. It is imperatively important that you be honest because in order to truly recover, you have to do more then get clean. You need to find yourself again, and that means acknowledging the parts you'd rather forget."

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**A/N: There you go thanks for reading and as always, I appreciate the feedback.**


	21. Questions

**A/N: I hope everyone is still enjoying the story. Thanks, as always, for your continuous support!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does! I do own Cameron Mansfield.**

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Reid and Cameron arrived at the rehab facility about an hour later, with Justin in tow. He was standing in between the two of them, as though they were his guards, his protectors. They were standing with him, with his parents should be. This wasn't lost on any of them.

The procedure was just like Cameron said it would be. While Justin was being examined by the doctor and having his things searched, Reid and Cameron sat in the lobby. Justin had said they didn't need to hang around but they insisted that they were happy to stay and Cameron gently reminded him that he needed the support.

Reid glanced at his watch and looked at the door into the facility, "Cameron, what time did you say our flight left?"

"Well I booked one in two hours, but they said I'd be able to cancel if Justin needed us to stay longer."

Reid nodded, "Do you think he's going to be okay?"

Cameron took a deep breath, "I hope so."

Reid frowned, "The statistics on drug addiction show that on average, only 1 in 8 people in rehab avoid relapse." He contemplated for a second, "Outside of treatment, it's even less."

Cameron sighed, "I know, it never looks good. But people do it, you did it."

"I had help… I had you."

Cameron smiled and shook her head, "It takes more then that. All the help you can give doesn't necessarily mean a win. We're fighting biology here."

Reid said it quickly, almost not wanting to think it, "What if he relapses?"

Cameron looked towards the door yet again, "He'll come back and try again. Everyone gets a second chance."

Reid frowned, "That's not always true. It's not always possible for everyone."

"I know, but as long as I can do something to help, he'll get to try again."

Reid considered for a moment, "A lot of the books on recovery say that a loss or recognizing the inevitability of one can motivate recovery. Nobody wants to die or lose everything. Do you think he came close enough?"

Cameron nodded as Dr. Thagard lef the clinical area and headed towards them, "I definately think so."

She stood up and shook his hand, "It's nice to see you Victor, it's been a while."

Reid noticed as Victor puffed out his chest confidently, "Circumstances aside, I'd be lying said this wasn't an immense pleasure."

Cameron smiled politely and tucked her hair behind her ears, "I'm really grateful that you're doing this for him."

Dr. Thagard gave a sly smile, his body language was clearly flirtatious, "Come on now Cameron, who in their right mind could deny you?"

Reid try to cover his discomfort with an awkward laugh, he wasn't jealous so much as uncomfortable. He couldn't believe that someone would so blatantly hit on a woman who was pretty clearly engaged. _Oh well, there are __**always**__ guy like that, I shouldn't worry about it._

Cameron slipped her hands into her pockets and returned focus to Justin, "That kid you just met, really needs help. I wish I could do more…" She tried to shake feelings of guilt from her mind. "I would like to go say goodbye to him, and just let him know how to get a hold of me." Cameron shook the doctor's hand again and turned to Reid, "Spence?"

He followed her gesture and headed back towards Justin's room. Cameron smiled and shook her head, "That was a little unprofessional huh?"

Reid shrugged and nodded simultaneously as Cameron poked her head into the open door, "Hey Justin, mind if we come in?"

Justin nodded from his place on the edge of the bed, he was looking and feeling_ very_ anxious. He wasn't sure he wanted to be there anymore, he was afraid of being left there by himself.

Cameron crouched down in front of him, "Okay, right now, how are you feeling?"

"Not very good. Would you be annoyed if I said I wish you were staying here?"

Cameron shook her head, "No, I'm not annoyed and if I was really in the position to help you myself, I would. But the effort needed is bigger then me. You need a whole specialized team. Besides, this has so much more to do with you then any of us. **You **are way more help to you then I could ever be. And you can handle anything that this program will ask of you."

Justin slumped over in exhaustion, "I know."

Reid sat down beside him, he had formulated an idea of Justin's history in his head, as he suspected Cameron had also. He had probably been abused as a child, though not overtly. His parent's probably were probably neglectful, and at least one of them was probably an alcoholic. It was obvious that he was clinging to Cameron as a maternal figure.

Reid sighed and anxiously put a hand on his shoulder, "Whatever you're missing, whatever it is that you're looking for, you can find it. Just don't give up on it. If you can do this, then you'll be able to make things right on your own. It's possible for you to have make a family of your own."

Justin looked up at Reid, wide-eyed and shocked that he could possibly know something like that, something that he hadn't even really discussed with his doctor yet. He just shook his head, chuckled and said, "That's just creepy."

Cameron and Reid both smiled and Cameron got up and sat on the other side of Justin. "I want you to know, that you can call me **anytime**, okay? I'm going to call everyday, it's okay if you don't want to talk to me, I'll just ask someone who works here for an update."

Justin felt bad, like he seemed ungrateful, "I'll talk to you." He said definitely. The three of them stood up and Cameron cautiously moved to give Justin a hug, not sure how he'd react.

He let her hug him and managed to squeeze back, finding it surprisingly comforting.

"I hope that maybe I can come visit you if I get better."

Cameron gave him a stern look, "Show I little confidence, you need believe that you will do this." Her voice softened, "I think you can do it."

He turned to Reid, "I bet you guys enjoy being together more now that you're sober… Hopefully I'll become a better person too."

The admiration made Reid slightly uncomfortable and he gave Justin a firm pat on the shoulder, "You're going to be just fine man."

When all was said and done, and goodbyes were passed around, hope floated lightly in the air. Soon Reid and Cameron were flying back to Virginia, and along with the relief and happiness, another emotion was mixed in. There was something they needed to talk about, something that Reid needed to understand. Because... always wanted to understand things, and he really needed to understand this.


End file.
